After Guerra's office was raided as part of the investigation early last year, he camped outside the courthouse in a borrowed camper with a horse, three goats and a rooster. He threatened to dismiss hundreds of cases because he believed local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him.But, hey, the netroots must be happy! Someone LISTENED! MEGAN: Well, I believe that local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him, since that's the job of law enforcement. I'm just concerned about the 3 goats and a rooster. ANA MARIE: The horse? That's fine. It is Texas. MEGAN: Yeah, I'm not worried about the horse. But this guy sounds like a goat-sacrificer. Plus who has only a rooster? ANA MARIE: Someone who is frightened of both alarm clocks and eggs. MEGAN: But eggs are delicious! Wow, I'm getting the significant impression that I probably should have had more than a salad for dinner last night. ANA MARIE: I should have had dinner! And lunch. And probably breakfast. Been trying to lose my "campaign fifteen" but sort of lazy about it — instead of eating smart, been not eating. Off topic: I LOVE Pat Buchanan on TV. He's always, like, PEERING at the camera. As if suspicious of the technology. Like he knows it wasn't MADE IN AMERICA. MEGAN: Well, there's no rest for no wicked, and no breakfast for us until we finish this, but after that there will be bacon in my future, mostly because I only have one egg in the fridge. So, Penny Pritzker at Commerce? It's even wilder that of all the Cabinet slots that have leaked, you've got Clinton, Napolitano, Pritzker and Holder. Are the only grey-haired white guys going to actually be in the White House? No offense, Rahm. ANA MARIE: Well, there's Valerie Jarrett. And Susan Rice will turn up somewhere, no? I would love it if Samantha "She's a monster" Power also showed up. But if they're serious about Clinton I'm guessing not. MEGAN: Susan Rice appears to be on-track for a sub-cabinet slot. Jarrett's going to the White House. And Sam Powers is apparently still at Harvard, though I would have picked her for an undersecretary gig at State but you're right, if Clinton goes to State, she's not gonna. ANA MARIE: MSNBC says Sebelius being vetted for Energy Secretary or Labor! CHICKS EVERYWHERE. MEGAN: Kathleen, run from Labor! Labor's a dead-end gig! ANA MARIE: Yeah, put Richardson in Energy. MEGAN: And Chuck Todd is saying that there are few Hispanic names, but he apparently didn't read the WaPo story on HUD Secretaries in which Antonio Villaraigosa and Miami mayor Manuel Diaz came up. ANA MARIE: Or, you know, Richardson for Interior, since apparently that is the Land of Grabbyhands. MEGAN: That's how they determine contracts there sometimes! And Richardson at Interior would be interesting, since it has seemingly gone to Western types for quite a while. ANA MARIE: This is the most interest anyone has shown in posts like HUD in a long time. It's just because they haven't gotten a puppy yet. Once the puppies come in, we'll be able to truly ignore the news. MEGAN: Well, probably the only reason anyone's interested in HUD right now is that whole mortgage crisis thing, but my money's on Villaraigosa, Telemundo mistress be damned. ANA MARIE: Oh, you and your logic and pragmatism. MEGAN: Fine. Yes, I think once there are pictures of the girls romping on the lawn with the puppy, there will be no other news. The Washington Post will eliminate all other print coverage and just print pictures so there is an epidemic of hearts exploding from cuteness. And then we'll get another baby panda if the economy gets worse, just because. ANA MARIE: Look, that's the only way newspapers can survive, right? The puppy equivalent of all those Memorial Obama Editions. And, fuck, if you give me another panda baby, you can have my house! I will just need an internet connection and the panda cam. And booze. And coffee. I should probably keep the house. In a just world I like to think we get panda babies and homes. Isn't that basically what Obama promised? MEGAN: Well, and rainbows and unicorns, right? But baby pandas are cuter.
After more than a week of grumbling by women's groups that Hillary Clinton had damn well better not be the only woman in the Cabinet, along with grumblings by Latinos that they ought to be represented too, along comes the unsurprising news that Obama is, indeed, vetting women for Cabinet positions. Can you guess who they might be? The Daily Beast's Ana Marie Cox and I can, and, in between talk of puppy cams, rainbows, unicorns, Jane Krakowski's nipples and Morning Joe, we discuss it at a length commensurate with our attention spans.MEGAN: Are you sufficiently caffeinated? I am having a Diet Coke jones, but there is nary a bottle in the proximity. ANA MARIE: Oh, there's Jim Webb the big pumpkin head! MEGAN: I wonder what he fills it with... ANA MARIE: Which is to say, not really. But I do like Mr. Pumpkin head. Filled with pumpkin. MEGAN: I could do with some pumpkin bread. ANA MARIE: Mike Barnicle is telling Jim Webb that "you know more than anyone about class warfare... you've written about it." And, it's true, Webb knows a lot about class warfare: HE IS FOR IT. He's pretty much for any kind of warfare. MEGAN: Yeah, I was sort of starting to think to myself, "Jim Webb is an economist?" but then Barnicle kept being all shout-y and I got distracted. He is really pissed at Senators who voted for the AIG bailouts to save those guys' salaries who are now shitting on union pay/benefit packages. ANA MARIE: We could just turn Crappy Hour into Meta Morning Joe. I know that's my fault but I'm not sure if I'm really sorry. MEGAN: It's okay; who doesn't love Morning Joe except for Mika's hair? Free Mika's hair! ANA MARIE: Her hair does compete with her attempts to be somewhat serious. MEGAN: Although, thankfully, she has apparently given up the Palin-do today. Small favors. ANA MARIE: Oh god, Mika is "driving the ship" Mon-Wed. I might have to convene some kind of A Very Special Crappy Hour. MEGAN: Wait, so, Jane Krakowski is coming on next? Was that a pattern on the top of her shirt, or was that cut outs? Do I need to be on nip slip alert? ANA MARIE: You, my dear, are ALWAYS on nip slip alert. And thank god someone is. MEGAN: Okay, during the commercial, we have to discuss Obama tapping Janet Napolitano at DHS. Do we think they'll have to convene an exorcism to expel The Wraith in January? ANA MARIE: It's a chance for Bobby Jindal to come onto the national stage with some pizazz! MEGAN: That would be awesome, actually. But on Napolitano: kind of crazy that right now 2 of the 3 hard core security gigs will seemingly go to women. ANA MARIE: What if they all start getting their periods at the same time!!??!?! NUCLEAR WAR! MEGAN: Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran! ANA MARIE: I think at this point we are contractually obligated to mention the CHENEY HAS BEEN INDICTED. Have you read about this? Has it been Drudged? MEGAN: Yes, apparently, this headline-seeking prosecutor in Texas decided that holding stock in a company whose employees do bad things makes us all liable for the actions of said employees. ANA MARIE: Here's the weird thing: "Cheney, Gonzales and the others will not be arrested, and do not need to appear in person at the arraignment, Presiding Judge Manuel Banales said." MEGAN: Because the judge needs an arraignment to throw out the case? ANA MARIE: I guess that's not actually weird but good, given that it sounds fucking insane. God that must be a fun jury. MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, I wonder what they were smoking and whether it's only available in Texas. ANA MARIE: I think the prosecutor is not JUST headline-seeking btw. There is deep crazy at work here: