Getting liquored up is an equal-opportunity affair, but the most popular brands of booze are associated with men. Mental Floss gives biographies and backgrounds on fellas like Captain Morgan, Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniel, Jose Cuervo, Jim Beam, Charles Tanqueray and Gaspare Campari. But what about the ladies of liquor?
Few and far between, it seems. Check these out:
St. Pauli Girl beer features a buxom bar maid on the label. Actually, looking at this visual "history" of the model, she's changed a lot. In 1982, she wasn't so busty; in 1989 she was (gasp!) brunette; in 2004 her apron disappeared, her top shrank and her skirt became alarmingly short. Progress!
Frida Kahlo tequila, launched in 2005, features the famed painter's visage on its bottles. Frida's niece, Isolda P. Kahlo, is involved with the brand. Unfortunately, art critic and author Raquel Tibol, who befriended Kahlo at the end of the artist’s life, is outraged, saying, "This is a dirty shame!" Blogger and artist Mark Vallens writes: "The idea of the artist’s alcoholism being somehow romantic could not be further from the truth. It was not a sense of romanticism that led Kahlo to drink a bottle of tequila a day, but the debilitating pain she endured from the accident suffered in her youth."
The labels on a Belgian beer called Rubbel Sexy Lager picture women wearing swimsuits, but the swimsuits can be scratched off, leaving naked models behind. Classy! This brew was pulled from shelves in the UK last year.
Sofia sparkling wine is manufactured by Francis Ford Coppola's winery, and named after his director daughter. Each can comes with a little bitty straw, because chicks like their booze to be cute! (Disclaimer: I've imbibed quite a few Sofias in my day and actually think mini champagne is a good idea.)
Inspired by the Hollywood icon, Marilyn wine exists, but, as Sadie says, "I wouldn't drink it."
Sailor Jerry rum is named after a man (the legendary tattoo artist) but has a pin-up girl on the bottle, does that count?
Damiana herbal-based liqueur from Mexico comes in a bottle shaped like an Incan goddess. Except, uh, the Incans were from Peru, right? So she should be Mayan, or Aztec? Well the website lists an address in Texas, so maybe someone is confused.
Batuque cachaça from Brazil is made from sugar cane and aged in mahogany barrels. The bottle is shaped like a woman wearing a Brazilian bikini (read: thong.) I had it in a caipirinha once, and never got around to figuring out why the poor woman has an awesome booty but no head. (Here's another view of her physique.)
Veuve Clicquot was, at some point, run by Madame Clicquot, hence the term "grande dame." If you look at her portrait you'll see Madame was pretty serious about her booze. Did I miss any? Let me know. The Men Behind Your Favorite Liquors [Mental Floss] Earlier: The Top 10 Female Product Advertising Icons & The Actresses Who Could Replace Them