Ever since the Obama Girl declared late last year that she has a crush on Obama, we've felt a certain freedom to admit that Barack Obama is hot. I mean, who among us doesn't want to be that baby? Unfortunately, Senator Obama's allure keeps people from noticing many of the other crush-worthy objects of our collective affection (besides Reggie Love, who I covered in depth but who never accepted my Facebook friendship invite, so he is dead to me). After the jump are ten other political crushes from this long and arduous campaign season.
David Axelrod Role: Chief Strategist for Barack Obama Age: 53 Marital Status: Married Why We Love Him: Maybe it's due to Daddy issues, but you can't count the man out just because he's old enough to be yours. He is the guy who has the most to do with getting Obama elected. He's a brilliant strategist, the least annoying campaign spin-meister and anyone who is ready, willing and eager to role out a 50-state strategy to see where Obama's message will work the best isn't just going to stick to the obvious erogenous zones in the sack.
Kevin Madden Role: Former Romney spokesman, current lobbyist and talking head Age: 36, give or take Marital Status:Sports a ring Why We Love Him: There's no denying he's pretty. So, shh, baby, stop screwing it up.
Chuck Todd Role: Political Director, NBC News Age: Anonymous internet types say 36, and his first listed job (in 1996) would track. Marital Status: Married Why We Love Him: Smart without being condescending, annoyed by his nickname "Chucky T" without being a dick about it, Chuck makes us think back to Revenge of the Nerds and why it is that nerds are all really good in bed. Supposedly.
Tina Fey Role: Comic genius, goddess Age: 37 Marital Status: Married Why We Love Her: From her spot-on imitation of Sarah Palin to her desire to leave the planet if she's elected, how can you not think you'd kiss this girl and like it?
Nate Silver Role:Statistical genius, proprietor of web polling sensation FiveThirtyEight.com Age: 30 Marital Status: No ring in the picture... Why We Love Him: See: nerds, Chuck Todd, cute glasses, plus, he loves baseball.
Chris Matthews Role: Host, Hardball with Chris Matthews Age: 62 Marital Status: Married Why We Love Him: Jessica has covered this before, but sometimes it is just sexy to watch a man get his rant on, even if you know he can be kind of a pig. Also, tell me that when he talked about that shiver that went up his leg listening to Obama you didn't think about his cock.
Jamal Simmons Role: President of New Future Communications and CNN talking head Age:Marital Status: Single Why We Love Him: Hummina, hummina. I might have been the source for this Amy Argetsinger item in the Washington Post about him, actually.
Rachel Maddow Role: Host of eponymous MSNBC and Air America shows. Age: 35 Marital Status: Partnered Why We Love Her: Smart, gorgeous, funny, self-deprecating: what's not to love, really? Even my hyper-Republican ex watches her show and likes it. Many, many women are gay for Rachel.
Jack McCain Role: John McCain's son Age: 22 Marital Status: Single Why We Love Him: Mostly because he's hot and not very talkative. Who didn't fuck this guy in college, really? The great thing about doing it when you're older is that it totally changes the power dynamic and that's hot on all its own.
Tucker Bounds (Special Hate Fuck Edition) Role: McCain spokesman, general dumbass Age: 29 Marital Status: Single Why We
Love Hate Him: Tucker Bounds is probably the shittiest shill this cycle and is basically unable to credibly repeat his own talking points in a realistic way. After watching him get schooled by every female anchor — including Megyn Kelly — we decided that he likes to get spanked and is a dirty little submissive. But, really, I've always wondered what it would be like to have a dick, so now I just look at him and think of him squealing through his ball gag as I peg him. It's just too bad he'd like it more than me. Related: Long by Obama's Side, An Adviser Fills A Role That Exceeds His Title [NY Times] Making His Pitches [Newsweek] Introducing Cable News's Latest Hotties [Washington Post] Earlier: War Is Hell, But Troops Are Hot! My Inexplicable Love For Chris Matthews Explained By "The John Mayer Effect" Rachel Maddow For President (Of Cable News, That Is) John McCain's Totally Hot Great Grand- Er, Son! What Julia Allison & John McCain Have Done To Journalism So Many Good Ways To Attack McCain-Palin...So Little Time