The Shoes Of Spring Are Simply TerrifyingThe New York Times has a slideshow called "Shoes From The Shows," featuring footwear from the major collections in Milan and Paris. And, please, take it from me, a person who truly loves shoes: It's absolutely horrifying. I watched it while barefoot and felt my heels tingle and ache. Let's start with the evil, twisted, bondage-inspired John Galliano for Christian Dior heel shown at left. Even if you like stilettos, even if you like tough-chick, kick-ass heels, there's a word for that shoe, and the word is: Ouch. As for Galliano's other shoes:The Shoes Of Spring Are Simply TerrifyingWhat the hell? Sure, high fashion is about fantasy. But walking doesn't seen possible, or probable. Creating works of art is a noble goal, but what is the purpose footwear that cannot actually be worn to walk in? It's not just about heel height; these Dolce & Gabbana monstrosities do little to contort the foot. But they ought to come with an orthopedic surgeon on speed dial. Let's not get started — again — on the Galliano shoes that involve walking on the head of a "fertility idol". But the soaring heels at Prada, which seem to be held together by raffia, actually caused runway models — whose job it is to walk — to wobble and fall. The least-ridiculous shoes in the slideshow are the wacky befeathered numbers by Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel. A lady may look like she's escaped from Fraggle Rock, but at least she can walk away with dignity, since the heels are mid-height. And look! Sunglasses to match. Shoes From the Shows [NY Times] Earlier: Fashion Show: Dior At Fashion Week In Milan, Prada Was A Real Problem