
- "I am genuinely sorry for all the times I fed us a Luna bar and called it food."
- "I apologize for wanting a nose job in the seventh grade."
- "Three words: nine dollar pedicure. Okay, four if you count 'infection.'"
- "I am also sorry for all the times that I decided to save time and money by skipping dinner and going straight for the after-dinner drinks. Well, maybe not all the times, but any of the times I ended up vomiting, blacking out or being violently hungover the next day. The rest of the times were a success, I think."
- "I apologize for 20 years of smoking cigarettes."
- "I'm sorry for the time I got drunk and ran in flip flops and stubbed my toe on the sidewalk so hard that the toenail had to be removed and i had to get a tetanus shot. I have a picture if anyone wants to see the bloody toenail bed."
- "I'm sorry for the time I fell down an escalator while living abroad and broke my clavicle and shoulder and was too nervous about my poor language skills to seek proper physical therapy once I had healed. Now one of my shoulders slopes and my back looks weird."
- "I apologize for asking my hairdresser for 'the Rachel' in 1996."
NOW and Anand McCorquodale" />

