This weekend, MTV aired another installment of its documentary series True Life, called I Live Off the Grid. It followed a group of people who live with an incredible amount of guilt concerning the resources they use and joined a program to learn how to live completely off the land, using no man-made materials (besides clothing, which must be made out of natural fabric) for an entire year. Their teacher, a man named Tamarac, schools them on the "ritual" of their bowel movements, which he ceremoniously refers to as "dumps," and scolds the campers for eating "elder" clams, because elders should be respected. All I know is that if I ate some of the meals these kids were eating (raw meat from roadkill, leaves, clams), my dumps wouldn't be rituals as much as parades of poop.