• Happy New Year, little Jewzebels. It's starting off pretty rocky, but we guided you through the rough shoals of the VP debates with a steady hand and a drunken heart.
• This Palin supporter sounded like she was drunk with her garbled endorsement of the moosetest with the mostest.
• Times are tough for this country, and for weepy Prodge Run contestants.
• You know who always has a stiff upper lip and a lot of fun? "Spinsters."
• Thankfully we can reminisce fondly about the days before we knew what a mortgage was. Check out the Jezebel school pictures and remember this: the older they are, the cuter they ain't.
• You know what else ain't cute? Elisabeth Hasselbeck when she gets all yelly.

• Even less cute: a mother and son who do it. That's like, the inverse of cute. That's etuc.
• You know, some people think Michael Cera and his Earnest Fumbling Manchildren are pretty adorable, but we beg to differ.
• We might be irked by EFMs, but they're still more enlightened than what ladies had to put up with in the days of Joan Holloway.
• But you know, it's Friday, and guess what? WEEKEND JEZEBEL is here! So kick back, relax, and enjoy the new content.

Contact information for this author is not available.