Is Your Confidence Determined By Your Mother?

There are all different types of Moms. Some are encouraging, some are supportive, some are undermining. Do you think your mother's expectations of you have an impact on your success? Eirini Flouri and researchers from The University of London's Institute of Education analyzed data from a study of children born in 1970. When the children were 10 years old, their mothers were asked to predict how long the kid would stay in school. (Would he or she drop out before the age of 18?) The team used this as an indicator of the mother's belief in her child's capabilities. Twenty years later, Dr. Flouri assessed the children's self-confidence at the age of 30. Girls whose mothers predicted at age 10 that they would go on to further education had greater self-esteem as adults. Meaning: If your mom has confidence in you, you have confidence in yourself. If you're a woman, that is: There was no link found for males.

Of course there are a lot of unknowns in this study. What about fathers? What about women who had mothers who told them they could be anything they wanted — and dropped out of school anyway? What about women who had mothers who said stuff like, "You'll never amount to anything," and became successful out of spite?

It's interesting that these children were raised in the '70s, when, more than ever, girls were getting the message that a woman could do anything a man could do. I consider myself fairly confident, and had my mother been in this study, she probably would have told the researchers that she saw nothing but success in my future. (And you know, these things go both ways: When someone is so proud of you, you can fear disappointing them.) But for me personally, I think my dad had an impact on my self-esteem as well. (Dr. Flouri's team didn't study fathers.) Do you think your confidence is linked to your mother's belief in you?

Mothers' Pride 'Aids Daughters' [BBC]
Why Mum's The Word For High Flying Girls [Daily Express]
Daughters Thrive On Mother's Pride [New Scientist]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.

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