A male colleague of mine remarked to be recently that writing about vibrators is a Jezebel scribe's rite of passage. And, it's true, we totally write about vibrators a lot; in fact, I popped my own vibrator-story cherry not that long ago! It is a rare day, however, that any of us writes about male masturbatory aides — and, when we have, we usually focus on Real Dolls and how vaguely disturbing we find the men who are into them. But then I saw this article in The Independent today about the surge in men purchasing all sorts of things to their dicks into or up their butts, and I realized that it wasn't just sex dolls I find vaguely disturbing... and that that's kind of sexist of me.I mean, why is it that the mental image I have of a guy who utilizes sex toys is someone kind of creepy? Is this fleshlight any stranger-looking than a rabbit, really? Why is it that I am fine with a guy jerking off with his hands, but if he's jerking off in something I'm vaguely disturbed? Why is it not remotely strange to me that men would buy things to shove up their butts — or to have their partners shove up their butts — but, still, looking at this picture of something the would stick their dicks in, some reptilian part of my brain goes "Ewww."? Even the author of the article, Tanya Gold, admits to masturbating with mechanical aids, but seems to find male sex toys - from the pocket pussies to the pussy-in-a-jar devices to the blow-up and real dolls - disturbing in their appearance and what they say about the men who utilize them. So, is a pocket pussy sexist? Does it represent some sort of objectification of women in a way that a vibrator doesn't — or that masturbating generally doesn't? I have to admit, it isn't. I think part of my discomfort (or our discomfort) with the men who use such devices stems from a fear that the stereotype that men regard us as little more than convenient, comfortable orifices could actually be true for many of them. But I also know, from experience, that the stereotype isn't true for the kinds of men worth sleeping with, regardless of how they choose to masturbate — sex can be as intimate and connecting an experience for men as it is for women. For most men, jerking off in a plastic tube isn't going to be any more of a replacement for sex with a partner than masturbating is — and if your partner would rather masturbate than ever have sex with you, it's not the fault of the tube, but him. Guys And Dolls: A Revealing Look At Men's Sex Toys [The Independent]
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