"A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney" on 60 Minutes is great because it gives us a glimpse into the curmudgeonly conversations we'll be subjected to in retirement communities. [Or in our parents' houses! -Ed.] Last night, Rooney channeled his irritability through his kitchen utensil drawer. He brought a bunch of rusty crap from his house to the studio and expected the American public to relate to his, "Why do we all spend money on these wacky things" sentiment when half of the cooking shit he displayed appeared to have been invented before the wheel. One item — used for picking the stems off of strawberries — looked like an archeological relic, and the "trusty, old-fashioned" can opener looked like some kind of medieval torture implement. Clip above.

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