Liveblogging The Businesswomen Of The RNC: Meg Whitman And Carly Fiorina

The start of Ladies' Night at the RNC is here, and it's a CEO sideshow, with former eBay CEO Meg Whitman and former HP CEO Carly Fiorina speaking right off the bat to a half-empty convention center. I'm one of 3 people paying attention to the speeches, if the loud conversations and lack of working reporters are any guide. But, hey, I'm here and I can't find any booze, and they are two of the few women addressing the RNC during "prime time," so here's your first Ladies Night live blog, back here staring at famous people's asses again.

8:50 ET: Carly says "John McCain is the choice of the new generation." I happen to be reading this comment and snicker out loud by mistake. Three other reporters proceed to snicker. And then she's out. And so am I until Romney speaks in a few minutes: it's potty time! New thread 'round about 9:20 or whenever the Romnibot 3000 steps up to the mike.

8:49 ET: John McCain values the contributions of women in the following ordered ways: to our families, communities, the economy, and then in governing. Also, she said it AGAIN.

8:48 ET: How many fucking times is she going to say, "I know John McCain"? But does she know him Biblically? Otherwise, fuck it, I don't care.

8:47 ET: "Many people talk about changing Washington." Which is why it never, ever changes.

8:45 ET: John McCain will empower companies to make money. That's what Republicans do.

8:43 ET: We should all have an equal opportunity to achieve the American dream, according to John McCain, not that he plans on doing anything to guarantee said equality because that would be too much government interference, which he objects to.

8:42 ET: Maverick! Drink! People again realize by her pauses that they should applaud. Carly starts to realize the absurdity of talking when no one is actually listening.

8:41 ET: Obama is rhetoric and promises, McCain is service and reform. Some people realize by the way she pauses that they are supposed to clap. McCain's life is remarkable — oh, and BY THE WAY he was tortured.

8:40 ET: Long list of question... Getting bored. Crowd is getting louder, but no one else is paying attention either.

8:39 ET: Carly's turn. Time to be shallow: don't like the new haircut. Also, the magenta suit with the red backdrop? Bad call.

8:26 ET: Playing "Rock Around the Clock," Brian Setzer version, lots of old people actually dancing now that the recognize the song (even if they don't recognize the artist). There are way more old men here doing The Twist than I pretty much ever needed to see. The bass line makes me cross my legs more.

8:24 ET: Playing "Everyday People." There is unsurprisingly way less rhythm here.

8:32 ET: I look up at the movie screen only to see vid of brain surgery. Not nearly enough blood to be interesting. If I knew it would be this long, I would've gone to pee instead of doing the pee-pee dance during Fiorina's speech but it will make me motivated to blog fast.

8:30 ET: Choose John McCain, thanks, and it's video time.

8:27 ET: Applause line dies. Also, it's all about "individual freedom," except when it comes to your uterus.

8:26 ET: Meg says the tax code is "mind-numbing." So's this speech.

8:24 ET: "The real agents of change in this campaign." Wow, where did I hear that before? Oh, right, last night. Exciting. Or not. Drink, so maybe it'll get that way.

8:23 ET: "John McCain is more ready to lead than any person in America." Oooh, burn GWB, Meg, I might like you more.

8:21 ET: Meg's mom believed in America, and not in sexism. Uhh, those two things aren't mutually exclusive. Also, shout out to small government.

8:20 ET: She's here. She grew up on Long Island. I hate that place (sorry Long Island Jezzies) — it's like one long never ending suburb

Send an email to Megan Carpentier, the author of this post, at askalobbyist@gmail.com.

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