"Who the hell would want this job, if not someone who is (pardon the expression) a starfucker?" This is a line from the Radar story about celebrity assistants, who become "friends." Pals on the payroll! Angelina Jolie has Holly Goline; Jessica Simpson had CaCee Cobb, who is now dating Donald Faison from Scrubs. And Britney Spears' former assistant Alli Sims is trying for a singing career. But not everyone goes on to a great life; most assistants just sacrifice their own lives. Says one writer's assistant: "[I heard of a job] for an absolutely insane person, and I literally would have been traveling 10 months out of the year. Literally, when she wakes up, someone's got to be there, whether that's 3:00 in the morning or 6:00 in the morning—she literally needs someone to hold her hand." [Radar]

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