Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Looking through the September issues, one could not help noticing that there were many ads in which the female models were not provided with a shirt. Clothes, clothes, everywhere, and nary a blouse to wear! Oh, there were barely any nipples, due to strategically placed arms, hair, suspenders and blazer jackets, but still: Fall 2008 is the season of going shirtless. Bare-breasted ads from the September issues of Elle, Glamour, Vogue, Allure, Bazaar, and Lucky, after the jump.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Okay, this is not an ad. This is a shot from an editorial in Bazaar. But look: Toplessness is what's NEXT!

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

This woman is shilling shoes and handbags, but she has no blouse.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Here she is again without a chemise. It went on like this for pages. Same model, different accessories, bare boobs.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Another young lady who would love for you to buy a handbag. Except she's not pictured actually touching a handbag. In fact, the handbag appears on the opposite page.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Perhaps her pale, shimmering skin is supposed to make you want to buy that pale, shimmering bag. Perhaps there's a shirt for her inside that bag. Perhaps they should rethink having a nekkid chick in an ad for a brand that sounds so much like a herpes medication.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Aww, look, equal opportunity. This man is also topless, because a topless man is just like a topless woman. They can both be seen in parks and at suburban pools and on family TV and stuff. Oh! And the man gets luggage instead of a handbag because men are bigger and stronger and can lug heavier things. Plus, men have places to go.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Rock And Republic: Fur! Studs! Jeans! Boobs!

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Seeing Kate Moss topless is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs: Cute, but you've seen it before.

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Watch out, lady, Justin Timberlake is lurking behind you, hoping to get a glance of your tatas!

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

Dammit. Naomi makes it look easy. Normal. Should we all just throw away our camisoles right now?

Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

And the winner. For toplessness. Goes to: Loree Rodkin. Shilling jewelry on this wretched green, lace-printed model. Do you want to buy a diamond-encrusted dragonfly chain right now? Me neither. Medic! Send Dramamine.


Earlier: Big Hair Is Sexy, Cigarettes Whiten Teeth, Not Having Cellulite Is Awesome
Advertising Taking Cues From Porn: What Is The World Cumming To?