Who Knows Things? John McCain Knows Things!

  • John McCain told a crowd that the "people who decide these things" told him there would be 2-3 Supreme Court vacancies soon. Of course, those are lifetime appointments, so it's either that McCain's in contact with Death or he's forgotten one of the fundamentals of the third branch of our democracy. [HuffPo]
  • Speaking of idiocy, Attorney General Michael Mukasey decided today that no one will be punished for the illegal hiring practices in the Department of Justice under Alberto Gonzales. You know, because no one cares, except for those people denied jobs for not being Republican-y enough. And maybe the people fired. And those people transferred for not complying. And Democrats. Well, hardly anyone, anyway! [International Herald Tribune]
  • In a blast from the past, corrupt bribe-taking Republican Congressman Bob Ney is getting out of the slammer soon! Democrats have already started a collection to send him to Minneapolis for Labor Day, since he helped them so much in the 2006 elections. [HuffPo]
  • Cindy Sheehan, who has vowed to never disappear from the media spotlight ever again, has qualified to run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in November as an Independent. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer would be rubbing his hands with anticipation, but even he's sick of Cindy Sheehan. [HuffPo]
  • Suicide bomber recruiters have apparently tired of using women as suicide bombers and started dressing men up like women to do it. Just kidding! Real women will return to bombing next week. [LA Times]
  • New York City's abortion rate is up to 72 abortions for every 100 live births, which is almost 3 times the national average. Advocates blame it on a lack of access to affordable birth control and a reduction in birth control usage. Anti-abortion advocates have already started calling New York City Gemorrah, since they already used up Sodom on San Francisco. [Crane's]
  • Mark Penn thinks Obama needs to play up McCain's "record" on women's issues. This is the type of advice you get when Mark Penn isn't getting paid millions of dollars to play divide-and-conquer with your staff. [Politico]