I try not to cast stones when it comes to idiotic shit people write on the internet but an Andrew Sullivan surrogate just picked up what is indisputably the most inane line of political reasoning this campaign has yet produced — and that includes DMX's inimitable Your momma don't name you no damn Barack meme — which is to say, John McCain's new "Obama is just a celebrity" ads featuring Britney and Paris are actually intended to imply that if elected a certain charismatic black man will have his way with every last single white American female. No really, and I quote:
Anyone with even a vague sense of pop culture knows that Britney and Paris are yesterday's news. Here's a link to Forbes' Celebrity 100. Paris and Britney don't even make the list any more. Instead, the top 10, in order: Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce Knowles, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z, The Police, JK Rowling, Brad Pitt. So, they didn't pick other big celebrities, who were either men, or black, or married.Um, maybe because attempting to smear Barack Obama by equating him with J.K. Rowling is actually significantly dumber than anything his campaign has done so far? That and other stuff with me and Megan (and Mitt Romney) below.MOE: I still haven't watched that McCain ad but I listened to the Ludacris song the Obama campaign could not resist condemning strongly. The Jesse Jackson couplet is my favorite.
Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what? if you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!MOE: I don't know much about Don Siegelman though I imagine he's a Corrupt SOB or whatever their baseball caps said but I'm very much in favor of holding Karl Rove in contempt. MEGAN: I watched the McCain ad, you didn't miss anything. He's implicitly compared to Britney and Paris and then hit for not supporting offshore drilling. I'm not sure what Paris thinks about offshore drilling, nor why I should care. MEGAN: Don Siegelman was a Democratic politician that was corrupt but Karl wanted him gotten on corruption charges so apparently he's not that corrupt or something. I don't think Democrats ought to be hanging their hats on Siegelman, but whatever. MOE: Offshore drilling would only make shit like this a little more accessible. MEGAN: But Britney doesn't care about McCain's ad and only noticed it because she was Googling herself, which is something she can do and John McCain apparently can't. Who knew I had anything in common with Britney? MOE: But speaking of fuel, I need some sooooo bad right now. brb MEGAN: So, now we're both back! MOE: OH thank god you're back. I had no one to talk about John Weaver with. John Weaver being John McCain's old pal and campaign strategist who seems determined to defeat John McCain. Weaver's the guy who met with Daschle to try and arrange a party switch, right? Not to be confused with Mark McKinnon, who pledged (and made good on the pledge) to drop off the McCain campaign if Obama won the primary. Also: anyone keeping tabs on Vicki Iseman? Also, what happened to your internet? COMCAST IS WATCHING YOU KNOW. MEGAN: I have Verizon! SUCK IT COMCAST. MOE: Uh, yeah, suck it Comcast, there are OTHER high-speed internet service providers I can totally waste my morning cursing the existence of. In other news Virginia is officially a swing state. In other news like everyone who doesn't think McCain is a sellout to the Nazis is starting to think he is just stupid — like even Karl Rove is dissing him today but I hold Karl Rove links in contempt — and basically it has come down to Mitt Romney as his staunchest supporter. Mitt Romney! MOE: Mitt "We can all agree you're the candidate of change" Romney MEGAN: Oh, it's so nice when former enemies come together in pursuit of a common goal, like Mitt Romney potentially winning a national election. MOE: He was fucking hot, though. And so bland I forgot why I hated him. Oh yeah this. Hey, remember that shitstorm when those Salt Lake City bloggers accused us of plagiarizing their idea? Man, good times. MEGAN: Ah, the ghosts of crappy hours past! Although, on my end, this hour has been pretty crappy. I've got one hell of a hangover. MOE: Hey, finally someone took my idea and wrote a Dreams of My Father vs. Faith of my Fathers mashup. Also, maybe we should talk about Turkey? MEGAN: Oh, God, please, nothing to do with food right now! Or do you mean the country? MOE: Yeah nevermind I don't really feel like discussing Islam either after spending like 45 minutes last night writing the 283rd comment on that post about those lady suicide bombers. MEGAN: I feel you there. MOE: Also did you realize we had so many 2nd amendment fans up in them comments? I didn't. Now I'm thinking I could maybe use a gun myself.