There's just so much advice in this month's InStyle. Things to want! Rules to break! Rules for breaking those rules! After a while the sheer volume of contradicting imperatives begins to seem poetic, yet absurd. InStyle cries out to be made into a Dadaist poem! As you may know, a true Dadaist poem actually requires that you cut out words from the source material and pull them out of a bag at random. But since InStyle reports (twice!) that there is no "it" bag for fall, I wasn't sure which bag to use. And so I have created a found poem instead, using only actual phrases and images from the magazine. See the results — and add your own — after the jump.

Be a free spirit
match your necklaces and bracelets
mark your calendar and race to a store





Forgo the grand flourish
keep the colors up top subdued
choose a gown boasting more yardage than anybody else's





Stand up straight
moisturize as you cleanse
add further funk with contrasting tights





Join the costume party without losing your shirt
you don't have to spend a fortune
cheap shoes will bring the whole look down





Brush black powder from the lash line to the brow line
coil remaining hair into a loose bun
fill it with red gum balls!


Think you can do better? Got another magazine or website you want to try the found treatment on? Poetry is what comments were made for! Have at it.

Send an email to Anna North, the author of this post, at annanorth@jezebel.com.