New DNA tests have finally cleared JonBenet Ramsey's family from the 1996 killing, freeing them from the infamous "umbrella of suspicion" from investigators and pretty much everyone on Earth.• A combination of increased Internet time, alcohol consumption, and little sleep can result in "gradual gains in body weight" in adolescent girls. Hey! They do the same for non-adolescent women too. • A Danish zookeeper's cat adopted a "rejected" red panda cub to raise. Sadly, there is no video. • Polygamist leader Warren Jeffs has been hospitalized in Las Vegas under an assumed name and police guard. • Hey Jezebels! The winners of our Label Whores giveaway have been announced. Claim your prizes!
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