Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Just Made Some Pakistani Farmer's Life $25 Million Better. Here's Hoping He Invested In Big Corn!Moe6/23/08 10:00amFiled to: crappy hourJohn McCainRobert MugabeZimbabweMorgan tsvangiraiKhalid Sheikh MohammedAbu ZubaydahChris CoxBear StearnsSecEconomicsethanol subsidiesagribusinessPoliticsBarack Obama111EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkBehold 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. And note the Ashlee Simpsonesque transformation of his nose. Maybe people with the initials KLS are just vainer than most. And while the Guantanamo diet was good for the love handles, waterboarding leaves you bloated with bags under the eyes? In any case, something, it's hard to know exactly what, motivated Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to finally tell us what was up with Al Qaeda. Easier to know is why we finally found him: some Pakistani farmer type wanted to win $25 million. Will the same tactic work for the auto industry? John McCain wants to offer $300 million — Fun fact: just under one thousandth the cost of that recent farm bill — to the first person to invent a 30% more efficient car battery. Holy mindfuck, right? Like, on one hand, he's appealing to humanity's most rational Smithean impulses! While at the same time, betraying a sinister distrust in the ability of the market to solve everything! Megan and I read a shitload of newspapers over the weekend so we could share an informed combination of disillusionment, disenchantment, disgust and depression over Zimbabwe, the SEC, the corn industry etc. after the jump.