If She Doesn't Want Talk, She Probably Doesn't Want To Sit On Your Face

David Joe Limones of Newburgh, New York was obviously upset that his ex wouldn't talk to him anymore, especially after she filed that pesky restraining order against him. So he went by her place, cut a hole in her couch and hid in it to wait for her to, you know, talk. She, however, was talking on the phone when she got home and sat on the couch/his head, so he got to talk to the cops pretty quickly. No word on if he's going to pay restitution for fucking up her couch. [CBS News]