Are Threesomes Really Normal? The National Review Enlists Three Bloggers To Debate Glamour

The late National Review founder William F. Buckley was a famous prude (even in his novels about fictional hedonistic boomer liberals, among whom he once described a sex scene as transpiring thusly: He didn't know then that his ejaculate had burrowed down into her ovum.) But now he's dead! And in a welcome distraction from all the pointless campaignfinance habeascorpus offshoredrilling static his old journal devoted three separate features this week to the subject of…how appropriate!…threesomes! The catalyst: a New York Times feature noting gay marrieds sometimes indulge in the odd menage a trois. So much for the argument that letting homos wed would release them from the deathgrip of their sick culturally-accepted perversities, says Maggie Gallagher. But wait! Media blogger Fred Schwartz thinks the straights have threesomes too! He read about it in Glamour

In the June issue of Glamour, under the heading "5 things to say no to," item 1 is: "Any threesome in which you're committed to one of the other two." If you're not committed to one of the other two, presumably, Glamour would say: "You go, girl!" Admittedly, this advice is mostly directed at single women, so they do have some respect for marriage, especially when in item 4 the magazine turns suddenly and mysteriously prudish by telling its readers to avoid "Married men. Seriously."

Still, one has to wonder. At National Review we are often told that opinion journals contain so few ads because advertisers don't want to be associated with anything controversial. Now, Glamour certainly has no trouble selling ads; its issues are as fat as its models are thin. Evidently, then, the idea that it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to have sex with two people at once, as long as they're both strangers, is now considered entirely mainstream.

Not so! Chimes in Lisa Schiffren, who asserts that the Glamour editors just got that idea from an early episode of Sex & The City, which perpetuated the notion that threesomes were common because it was written by gays.

So…funny how the male conservative is:

1. the only one who will cop to reading Glamour

2. the only one who asserts that threesomes are, like, totally normal.

Which is to say: just like a gay/guy! Anyway I'll leave it to you guys to educate the nation's publishers as to how mainstream threesomes really are, because I'm personally neither really "mainstream" nor a veteran of such an act — I'd honestly rather be waterboarded, call me sentimental — and also maybe to Photoshop Maggie, Fred, and Lisa onto the cover of the new W.

Rules For Threesomes [National Review]