Jonathan Alcox is the owner of RepublicanMarket.com and Democrat Mall, where he sells political paraphernalia because he's a free-market capitalist, see, and not an ideologue. He is also, he says, not a racist despite being the genius behind the "If Obama is President... will we still call it the White House?" pins we reported on earlier this week. Those pins, he said, never made it up on his website because they were a new product, but we've got a selection of lovely sexist ones that are popular enough for RepublicanMarket's site (with our commentary), right after the jump.
- Yes, obviously, women are just like fried chicken, insofar as they can be reduced only to the assets men like. Also, for the record, have you gotten a good side shot of Hillary's breasts? They're not small, not that it matters, but I prefer accuracy in my insults. Plus, if people (mostly men) are going to demean me and think I'm stupid for having large ones, I really think they ought to get their shit together and tell us all what size breasts we ought to have to be taken seriously even though I know the answer is, obviously, "you need a penis."
- Unflattering picture? Check. Reference to her book It Takes a Village which Republicans somehow hated despite the fact that it was about family values and shit? Check. Insult to her intelligence? Check. Insult to her home state? Yup. Humor? Oh, shit, guess they forgot that.
- Never mind, the last one was funny in comparison. She's so stupid! Hardeeharhar! Gosh, I love me some jokes about how the ladies are dumb.
- Hillary's a bi-itch! Hillary's a bi-itch! I mean, does anyone take this seriously as an insult anymore? I got called this in the 7th grade, it lost its power over me pretty quick and, besides, like, all it really means is that the person who is calling you it has some outdated stereotype about how women are all supposed to be peaches and sunshine and sugar and spice, which I think makes the person who buys that crap about women my bitch.
- Ah, back to the stereotype that all Democratic women are man-hating lesbians. Just because I'd rather fuck a woman than a dude that was wearing this button doesn't make me a lesbian, I don't think, it's just that some choices in life are easier than others.
- Actually, I'm failing to see how this is an insult to Democrats. It's basically admitting that Republicans are uncreative lovers who suck in the sack and are all about showing dominance rather than having great sex. Seems about right, although I swear the only guys more into anal sex in D.C. than my gay friends are Republicans.
- Because Monica Lewinsky is the only person to ever give a blow job, ever, in the history of the world (or, at least that's what the unfellated dudes that would buy this pin know in their heart of hearts), it's apparently totally cool to forever more associate her image with shit like this. Can't she sue or something? There have got to be some Jezelawyers on this shit.
Anyway, so, it's hard to decide whether Adler's one racist pin trumps his many, many sexist pins, but it only took 2 days for that one to go away and these get to stay. Betcha they do pretty good sales, too.
Vendor Who Sold Racist Obama Pin Apologizes [Dallas Morning News]