Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Ah, the Tonys. When the hearts of a million high-schoolers in Cats T-shirts go pitter-pat. The Broadway community owes it to these kids to really bring it one night a year, and I gotta say… The Miss Saigon lover in me was disappointed. I wanted more glitz, more tack, more joie - what we got was a lot of tasteful black. Marisa Tomei, Laura Linney, Mary-Louise Parker, Christine Baranski, Daphne Rubin-Vega and many more appear in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, post-jump.

The Good:

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Marisa Tomei brings it.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

I love it when Laura Linney reminds us she's glam.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Christine Baranski always camps it up, awesomely.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Really want to invoke those "It's a business doing pleasure with you" ads, but can't think of a way. Anyway, Mary-Louise Parker.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Kate Shindel's tie-dye number works, adds some much-needed youth to the r.c.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

I always feel like, if you have one major red carpet a year, why not make the most of it. Mary McCormack obviously agrees.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

...as does Jenna Russell's train.

The Bad:

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

We all know how I feel about crimes against breasts. Lacey Kohl, j'accuse.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

I don't know, guys. I mean, Daphne Rubin-Vega must have really liked this gown to choose it… Why can't I see what she does?

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

I think it goes without saying that the Viennese Waltz pose Kathryn Grody is striking with husband Mandy Patinkin is awesome. Sadly, the proportions of her ensemble just aren't working.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Laura Benanti's got the glitz, but it feels a little Vegas.

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Mayumi Miguel almost rated "Ugly." In the end, though, I didn't think her unfortunate frock had enough imagination.

The Ugly:

Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep

Kathryn Hahn, on the other hand, seems to have hit upon a surefire "Ugly" formula: random, tumor-like growths of fabric.

[Images by Getty.]