"The scariest money mistake women can make (Hint: It's not shoes!)" sure sooounds like your average "Hey, it's O.K.…" Glamour enablement missive. (This month: Hey, it's O.K… to think about your eBay bid during sex!) But actually, "Welcome To My Mortgage Hell", penned by Meghan Daum, who knows a little bit about money mistakes, is interesting/depressing/important. Women, particularly single women, are addicted to acquiring real estate. "You use your home as a way to express who you are," says one lawyer and expert. Like shoes! But this is a newer development: until the 1970s single women were rarely allowed to buy homes without somehow proving the veracity of their intention to never have kids; today the rate of homeownership (or, you know, "ownership") among single women — single women who've been taking on half-million dollar double adjustable-rate crackpot mortgages with no down payment and that sort of thing — is twice that of single dudes. But why?
According to the expert lady, "Women view a house as the ultimate self-improvement, lifestyle-transformation design project." So yeah, really like shoes. But I think there's a lot more commitment vs. fear-of-commitment crap that goes into this decision. Dudes like liquidity in their investments and the rush of playing the market etc. etc. Women like to invest in crap that seems solid and reliable. (In lieu of anything else that is solid and reliable.) As a homeowning friend of mine put it, "I broke up with my BF and was just like, 'Fuck it, I don't need a man to do this.'" But oyyyyy, when you're paying $4000 a month to "own" a place you could rent for $1250, why do you need to do it? It's like "settling" for a bartender high school dropout with pubic lice and pledging to have anal sex with him every night for the next twenty years, and giving him the option to renegotiate for additional blowjobs if women still find him attractive in three years. Like, you know? I know it's a long shot, but you actually might have better luck in a few years if you just spend the money on drinking and index funds.
"Welcome To My Mortgage Hell" [Glamour]