Full disclosure: I almost called this installment "Bar Mitzvah Disco." For some reason this collection of quietly-clad socialites and their dapper octogenarian escorts, who assembled last night mid-heatwave for the Museum of Modern Art's 40th Party in the Garden, took me right back to 1994, the year I threw on an enormous Laura Ashley sack every Saturday, was driven to some temple in the tri-state and won the limbo by default because I was so much shorter than everyone else. In the end, the connection seemed too tenuous. But tell me if, after the jump, you don't hear faint strains of "Hot, Hot, Hot"...

The Good:

Diane Von Furstenberg: perennial no-brainer. (For me, I mean. Doing the 'Good' category. Maybe you got that.)

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Diana Taylor. For my NYC peeps, "Mayor Bloomberg's girlfriend." She always looks stunning, elegant.

This spring confection is modeled by Margaret McGrath, known to her many friends as Mrs. David Rockefeller. And who am I kidding? He's dapper as all git-out, and the one who really makes this picture.

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Claire Danes' dress is lovely. But in some ways this pic does make me yearn for the Claire of '94…

Karin Greenfield's ensemble reminds me a bit of an outfit my mom wears, so maybe I'm biased. But I think it's elegant and appropriate.

The Bad:

See, this is what I mean. The normally sure-footed Diane Sawyer is wearing a blouse that puts me strongly in mind of what the more stylish 13-year-olds were wearing with their black pants fourteen years ago. (Yes, I'm 27.)

Ditto Evelyn Lauder's ensemble. (Which gives weight to the "no hose" argument.)

Now Katherine G. Fanley's, on the other hand, is reminiscent of the first "grown-up" dress I was allowed to buy in the teen section of Nordstrom's.

...whereas socialite Fabiola Beracasa's frumpy beige number looks like what the Bat Mitzvah girl herself might have worn in temple.

The Ugly:

Thank God for MIA. I don't know what she's doing here, but she adds the only dash of fun and questionable taste in the whole shindig. Plus, the fabric looks like a Barbie dress, in the best way. I almost put her in "Good," but I thought she'd want to be here.

Sweatin' With The Oldies: NYC Old Guard Gathers in 100 Degree Heat for MoMA 'Party In The Garden.'Getty" />