Thong Song

Recently, a friend remarked on the thong: "It's like a farce in your pants every time you put one on." Now comes the tale of the "Thong Bandits," two guys who held up a convenience store using thongs as masks. "One man wore a green thong and the other wore blue," reports USA Today. As any dame who's ever worn tight trou could've told them, "each thong barely covered the man's nose, mouth and chin and left the rest of his face exposed." After 2 days on the lam, both men surrendered. [USA Today]