Yeah, some things are better left standing on their own. (Like my liver: I think it hurts, but fuck it! Let it hurt some more!) Okay then, so Jesse and Belinda met in middle school, around the time his maturity was peaking. They reconnected after college and dated — wait for it! — ON AND OFF. For a couple years. She was too needy. He was too volatile. They split in September and their last contact, she thinks, happened last February, when at around 2 a.m. she heard someone scream "I LOVE YOU BELINDA" outside her apartment window. And then last week: this masterpiece. Dear Jesse: Belinda may be gone, but Jezebel loves you.

————— Forwarded message —————
From: Jesse
Date: Mon, May 26, 2008 at 1:00 AM
Subject:
To: Belinda

Some things have occurred to me. Modern woman (who like modern man is a domesticated ape) is looking for a man who's already "established" and "serious", so that she can come along and drive the last nail into the coffin. No more humour, no more idealism — we're adults now. Or at least he must be "trying"... trying to do what? To exist comfortably in this capitalist-consumerist culture? Insecurity is the word. Staying on that treadmill of ever-increasing speed. And raising kids in front of the teevee. What — can't you brainwash your own fucking offspring? Call me old fashioned.. Mark Twain (or some such fuckwad) said: Those who would exchange their freedom for security deserve neither. Hence, the loveless marriage.

Hence, boredom. Hence the paradox of requiring something as corrupting as money, or human contact. But trust is probably more important than all that, in the adult scheme of things.

Freedom and security are both abstract ideals, and are not God-given or inherent in our makeup. But just because they are an intellectual conundrum doesn't mean a position must be taken. Confusion is our god-given right. People are not confused enough. They're teetering on the precipice of a great opening of the bowels of their being.

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