I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull over the weekend, and I don't think I'm giving anything away by telling you that the climactic fight scene occurs in the recesses of a dank, sinister cave. I realized shortly after leaving the theater that every climactic Indiana Jones fight scene occurs in a cave, generally populated by Nazis, Russians, or some other group of anti-American miscreants. And we all know what those caves symbolize: vaginas! In fact, it seems like the Indiana Jones series is one, long, convoluted vagina dentata myth. Think about it: In the Last Crusade, Indiana Jones travels deep into the fertile crescent to find the Holy Grail; he goes through several underground lairs to find it, and while he's trying to run away, a giant crack opens in the ground. And don't even get me started on the infamous boulder scene in Raiders of the Lost Arc, wherein a big ol' rock comes rolling down a dark, narrow passageway after Indy has stolen a totemic treasure.
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