Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!

The May Free People catalog has arrived, and its "global" aesthetic has gone all '70s California girl. But the prices the company is charging for some of this retro boho? Enough to make your ironed hair curl. Oh, and here's a question: Is it okay to have a "Tibetan Festival dress" in a catalog called "Free People"? Overpriced pseudo-homespun "worldly" wares, after the jump.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

Pretty sure my mom had this entire outfit in the '70s. Except at a much lower price point. The tank is $38, the jeans are $198 and one of those necklaces is $268. These days, to dress like a hippie you need to be a yuppie.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

I once made a "scarf" like this. I was five, and we wore working in tempera paint. I threw it away after I was done with my real artwork.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

This "Tibetan Festival Dress" was "imported." I looked on the website but it wouldn't tell me what I really want to know: Was it made in China?

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

Dammit. I love the feathers in her hair.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

These "beach totes" are $98 dollars here, or free if you go rifling through your great Aunt who dresses like Mrs. Roper's closet.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

Some of the styling in this catalog is straightup crazytown. Over on the top left? Those maybe-I'm-pregnant-maybe-I'm-not layers? Thanks, but no thanks.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

Everything looks good on the beach. Try wearing this on a busy city street. I mean, a $168 dress that is so bare it basically requires a cami underneath? And, frankly, she could use some pants. Shorts, at least.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

The choker on the left is $398. No, I don't know why.

Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!S

Maybe I don't "get it." But she looks awkward and thick and she's a model for chrissakes. Also, this outfit looks like laundry-day desperation. But between the two $48 tunics, the $128 skirt and the $354 worth of necklaces she is wearing, clearly she pays someone else to wash her clothes.

[Free People]

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