Ashlee & Pete Wed; Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong Date

• Ashlee Simpson wed Pete Wentz on Saturday at her parents' house in Encino, CA. Afterwards, she and guests partied at an Alice In Wonderland-themed reception. Sister Jessica was the maid of honor and brought Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. You know, Jessica had an Alice In Wonderland-themed birthday party on episode 9 of Newlyweds: Nick And Jessica. And she didn't even know who the Mad Hatter was. [Rush & Molloy]
• The bride wore an ivory lace gown by Monique Lhuillier. The groom's bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring bearer. Papa Joe Simpson officiated. [People]
• Jessica was "subdued" during the wedding and "did not look happy." Ashlee "managed to hide her pregnancy pretty well." [E!]
• Ashlee did tell wedding guests that she is, indeed, pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• The rehearsal dinner was at Jessica's house. [E!]
• Kate Hudson is getting over her breakup with Owen Wilson by hanging out with Lance Armstrong. They had dinner Friday and Saturday night in Austin, Texas. [People]
• Goldie Hawn says daughter Kate is "doing really well." [People]
• Angelina says she's explained to her kids that she has twins in her belly, so now Zahara says "she's got little piggies and she has to eat brownies because the piggies need to eat brownies." And Pax "says he's got monkeys." According to this paper, Brad and Angelina are spending £8 million to ensure the safe arrival of the twins. [Mirror]

• Here's some old-ass video of Angelina hanging out with some chick who is smoking heroin. [The Sun]
• Mariah Carey plans to get married to Nick Cannon again, this time in an over-the-top ceremony in New York. Mariah wants over 2,000 guests, 14 bridesmaids and a $4 million budget. On the guest list? Naomi Campbell. Awesome. [MSNBC]
• Rihanna on Chris Brown: "We are very good friends. [People]
• Sadie Frost is not happy that her boytoy Kristian Marr hasn't been returning her calls and has been hanging out with Amy Winehouse. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Are Amy and Blake Incarcerated planning on renewing their wedding vows when he gets released? [Mirror]
• Amy's mom says: "[Blake]'s been in prison for almost as long as they've been together." She also acknowledges that Amy is still on drugs. Blake's mom says: "I was relieved when Blake was jailed in November. Parted from Amy, I felt it was his greatest chance - and hers - of beating [his] addiction to drugs." She also says: "Every week, I see countless photographs of [Amy]…Half-dressed, surrounded by hangers-on… [looking like an] addict, with her thin frame, grubby fingernails and cuts on her arms. If Amy were our daughter, my husband Giles and I certainly wouldn't let her walk the streets in this state." [Daily Mail]
• Amy's mom says "Amy didn't start on the hard drugs until she met Blake." [Telegraph]
• Meanwhile, Blake's dad was in a bicycle accident and could be paralyzed. It's a soap opera that never ends! [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty played in a celebrity soccer match. [The Star]
• Um, I must have blocked out the fact that Pete Doherty has a five-year-old son. [Daily Mail]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ran up a $783 bill at an L.A. restaurant and then tipped $16. Well, math is not their strength. [TMZ]
• Britney, in Costa Rica, riding an ATV. [TMZ]
• Britney in Costa Rica, riding a boogie board. [The Sun]
• Bono has asked David Beckham to join him on an expedition to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. David wants to do it! Posh would never be seen in hiking boots, huh. [The Sun]
• Is Justin Timberlake ready to propose to Jessica Biel? Apparently he wants to get married in a private ceremony on the island of Mustique. [The Sun]
• Ashley Olsen's new boyfriend is a "little bit psycho-y" and he doesn't like having his picture taken. Good thing he's with a girl who never gets photographed! [Page Six]
• John Stamos has a black eye from a kick-boxing "accident." Poor thing. [Page Six]
• Does George Clooney have new teeth? [ONTD]
• The Aniston/Mayer pairing is still going strong. Here they are making out in Miami. [Mirror]
• Barbara Walters on Star Jones: "I mean, we had to lie for her. And I was worried about my own credibility. Joy Behar was very upset about it." [MediaBistro]
• Star's ex-husband Al Reynolds may spill all in a sit-down TV interview. If someone will pay him. [Perez Hilton]
• Incredibly obvious blind item! "What reviled British personality, generally reviled by everyone, has started to pull a Heidi and Spencer????? That's right, the media-hating (at least in public) skank is now traveling with her very own paparazzi photographer. The snapper arranges with her to get exclusive pics of the hooker and then they split the profits. Hey, she's gotta make money somehow, right?" [Perez Hilton]
• Scarlett Johansson didn't got to the Cannes premiere of her Woody Allen flick because she wanted more than the studio was willing to spend. Scarlett reportedly refused to stay at the same hotel as co-star Penelope Cruz and Woody Allen, and she also refused to share a makeup artist with Penelope. Diva! [Perez Hilton]
• Christina Aguilera removed every hint of the Osbournes before moving into their Beverly Hills mansion. Not surprising. she's not exactly the gargoyle type. [Janet Charlton's Hollywod]
• Kelly Rowland is writing a children's book. This paper illustrates this story with a picture of Beyoncé, sigh. [Times Of India]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer: "If I had to hire an investigator or investigators to provide me with the intelligence about what's going on, where they are, how are they doing, it would be north of half a million to a million dollars ... as opposed to buying People magazine for $3.95 on Thursday morning or going on TMZ." [AP]
• Brody Jenner in Chicago: "He was swigging Grey Goose vodka straight from the bottle and looked practically comatose. The bar smelled awful, and girls in tube tops were swarming all over him." You know. The usual. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester seen making out with co-star Sebastian Stan. These names only exist to taunt us, don't they? [Page Six]
• Gina Gershon is looking for a personal assistant. Any takers? [Page Six]
• The new Indiana Jones movie: "Often thrilling, sometimes charming, occasionally clunky family entertainment that perhaps wisely doesn't attempt to scale the heights of Raiders of the Lost Ark.. [New York Post]
• Does Petra Nemcova want Sean Penn back? She's been "flirting heavily" with him at the Cannes Film Festival, despite the fact that he is there with wife Robin Wright Penn. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mischa Barton was seen smoking a joint and knocking back tequila shots in Cannes. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper DMX allegedly checked into an Arizona hospital in April under a fake name so that he didn't have to pay the bill. [TMZ]
• Kenny Chesney won entertainer of the year at the Academy of Country Music Awards, yawn. [People]
• A prison inmate is suing over how he was portrayed in a 50 Cent movie. Good luck with that! [UPI]
• Loni Anderson got married over the weekend, to an old flame named Bob Flick. [ET]
• The sister of late INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence has been selling personal items and memorabilia on eBay. [News.com.au]
• Sean Patrick Thomas of Save The Last Dance is the father of a new baby girl, Lola Jolie. [People]
• Boy George sells stuff on the street now. [The Sun]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.

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