The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

Please welcome guest blogger Lesley Arfin, who will be doing much of our fashion coverage this week. Her first assignment? The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, in which she is thrown into the lion's den that is country "couture".

Last night the Academy of Country Music Awards were held in the city that most reminds us of country music...Las Vegas! (Warning: I don't know who 97% of these people are. Whatever though, it's the country music awards, are we really supposed to?) I was looking forward to BIG country hair and BIG country jewels and BIG country boobs, but instead we got new country, which is a little bit rock 'n roll, and little bit snooze. Although Nicole and Keith made beautiful sartorial music, ladies like Laura Bryan and Maureen McCormick weren't quite able to sort it out. Where's Dolly when you need her? The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly of the Academy of Country Music Awards, after the jump.

The Good


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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Nicole Kidman's baby looks so hot in this photo. It's like a surprise wrapped in a gift wrapped in near perfection.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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This sassy number is country music appropriate.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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A strapping suit, a lot of giggles, and a little bit of bald=my type of man.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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I like this dress and even though it's weirdly too big, at least it doesn't make me yawn.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Karolina Kurkova looks happy and sexy and also minty.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Something tells me Ryan Kwanten has a gentle southern twang and that something is called love.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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I ain't mad at a lil country dazzle.

The Bad

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Chuck Wicks doesn't look that bad (albeit a tad Gossip Girl) but what's with his "tie?" He's like, way too casual about not having a tie and it just being...a string? I think not my friend. (We'd never be friends).

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Snoozefest.org

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Boringsville.her

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Oh shit, someone accidentally silkscreened an Aztec placemat onto Fisher Stevenson's shirt. Do you think he knows?

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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It's funny how I liked that green dress but not this blue one. Life is funny like that sometimes.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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I understand the concept behind this dress, like "I'm gonna wow them with red!" but it's not wowing, it's hurting. Sorry.

The Ugly

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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I wonder which stylist told Laura Bryan it was ok to wear her crushed velvet Victoria's Secret pajamas to an awards show?

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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Maureen McCormick looks a little too Grimmace-esque in this number.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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This dress is like a cloud mixed with feathers mixed with not good. I actually made this dress. Just kidding.

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The Academy of Country Music Awards: Nicole Kidman's Unborn Baby Was Best-Dressed

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If you're lookin' at country, you're definitely NOT looking at "Hollywood" Don. Yes, that's his name.