You know, I usually find Spencer Pratt's opinions relatively unimpeachable, but I totes never thought Mary-Kate was the less-cute Olsen, far from it. Until now! Anyway, maybe MK shares my opinion regarding the dormitory shower curtain they made her wear on the cover of this month's issue of Elle, because the interview she gives is...um, supplemented by those telltale bullshit filler sentences such as "Dave and Jarnette always insisted that Mary-Kate and Ashley experience a regular childhood," and a quote from Lauren Hutton on how hard it was for MK to "discover" her incredible tastes. Mercifully, Elle gives you better ways to waste 20 minutes! Like a story on how you can not only use pot to cure anxiety, but Special K to cure depression!! (That's better news than Ecstasy for PTSD!) Anyway, after the jump as usual, we rewrite the cover lines to reveal the fact that we actually read the magazine.