Some Of My Best Friends Are Dudes

In an article for the Washington Post, Brett Krutzsch writes about being a bridesman. Not a groom, not a best man, not a bridesmaid; the best friend of a girl getting married. Who happens to be a dude. "I was her Will, she my Grace," Krutzsch explains. "We shared interests in theater, East Village wine bars and overpriced denim." Yeah, Krutzsch is gay. And his friend, Sara, asked him to be a bridesmaid. "I thought I would be a trailblazer as bridesman, but no fuss was made," he says. "The photographer never mistakenly put me in line with the groomsmen, and not one guest asked what it felt like to be a bridesmaid. The liberal New York crowd, however, wasn't remotely fazed by my nontraditional role. They didn't even blink when [my boyfriend] and I danced together at the reception." I don't know who this Sara person is, but I do know one thing: If I ever have a wedding, there will be a posse of guys on my side of the altar. And not because I'm a copycat.

I don't think I have to say that I like women, that some of my best friends are female, that my sister rocks in unimaginable ways and that a girls' night out is tons of fun. But. When I was four years old, my best friend was a boy who lived down the street. We jumped on the trampoline, played doctor and watched cartoons together until I moved away. And there have been numerous successors ever since. Some of them were gay, some of them were straight. Some were older, some were younger. But having a guy as a close friend — as a best friend — is a feeling I've always known. There's something about the dynamic between two adults who don't want to sleep together and yet have different gender perspectives on life. Being girly with the girls is one thing; having a burger and a beer with the boys (or dumplings and champagne with the gays) is another. What is it about getting close to a man (in a totally non-sexual way) that's so appealing? (And am I the only one who loves having boys as besties?)

Always a Bridesmaid, Never the . . . Groom [Washington Post]