Ok that has to be fake. Who would pay for that? That is literally the worst photoshopping I have ever seen in my life, and we've all seen what Marie Claire can do.

Man alive. That is some low-qual airbrushing.

i was prepared for creepy photos of lil girls, but i wasn't prepared for the seizure inducing backdrop...

What the shit?!

So now I can get $35 a pop by creating a few new layers atop an existing photo, using the eyedropper to select skin tone, making an uninspired blob out of what was once a really cute, sweet face, and judiciously applying Dodge to a linguine-like mass of fake cartoon hair!?

SIGN ME UP.

I am changing my name from rosasparks to apocalypticasparks, because I am now, FULLY CONVINCED, tbe world is coming to an end.

This is horrific. And PS, that isn't even CUTE-looking.

My daughter has a funny thing when we go to mall. She looks at girls & notes whether or not they look like Bratz. In her world, that is not complimentary. She's utterly freaked out.

why oh why do parents insist on making their kids appear older than they really are????

Sorry, this is not as creepy as the dolls you can have made that exactly resemble your child. Doll doppelgangers that stare at you while your child sleeps.

Creepy.

The retouched photos look like RealDolls for pedophiles. And the website background gave me a headache. FAIL.

Why would I want to turn my daughter into a Real Doll? And the link is only giving me a shimmering pink hole and scaring me.

That's not photoshopping, that's just drawing a picture of a humanoid in the paint program.

WTF? What mother in their right mind would want to do this to/for their children??

Clicking on the pictures broke my browser!!! I get these crazy transitions now, like sweeping across my screen. THOSE DOLLS ARE TRYING TO COME THROUGH MY SCREEN.

Gott in Himmel - isn't the alleged point of airbrushing to remove those nasty bile inducing telltale signs of human aging, or the vile evidence that the object of the photo has at one time in the last week apparently eaten a nourishing meal? I'm fearful that these photoshopped babies are on the fast track for nosejobs at 8, lipo at 12, and boob jobs at 14. When my 12 year old gets home from school, I'm going to hug her and her little Buddha belly so tight she won't know what's going on. Then we're going to go for ice cream.

@rosasparks: And I don't mean "HA HA" funny.

I seriously thought this was about getting a doll that look like your kid, which I thought was creepy but understandable but why would you want pictures in your house of scary, doll-version of your kid that you try to pass off as real?

Wooo, doggie! That is some fine website-makin'! The pink static in the background is something else...

Something Awful engaged with this lady (or someone just like her) and it was hi-LAR-ious.

[www.somethingawful.com]

(Not really endorsing SA necessarily here... but this was just too hilarious).

How dare you use my screen name in vain!

A baby just isn't cute without eyeliner and fake lashes. And a dazed expression.

Why. Why. Why. Why. WHY?

In case you couldn't tell, this really makes no sense to me.

it's like they photoshopped corpse makeup on them

Like we needed more proof that pageant parents are total loons.

i think the sparkle-background of that web page almost crashed my computer.

@shananigans: i agree. i mean, a doll that looks like your kid just reminds me of american girl me dolls, but this photo? creeeeeepster. like chucky, creepy.

And one would want one's child to look like a Bratz doll? WHY? What is wrong with people?!?

I think Kel needs to switch to funeral home cosmetology, and the truth of that coupled with these sweet little girls is making me ill.

@noseriously:
Kin I haz 1?
I m soooper egocentric

But wait...in the original photo, is that baby wearing extensions? If so, the Photoshop 101 ridiculousness seems a logical next step.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought the right 'picture' was of a doll?

It looks like they made one of those American Girl dolls you can design to look like your kid. He's attempting to pass this off as 'airbrushing'?!

Parents should save their money and just recite to their daughters the six words that will do the exact same job: You will never be good enough.

And I thought I was a hack when it came to Photoshop. Now I'm scared that Kel is gonna steal my job!

@exelizabeth: Yes! There's nothing I love more than when SA puts some creepy website owner through the wringer

damn, i thought my monitor was going to erupt from the sparkly, (un)cuteness, once the page decided to open.

Methinks one said Kel should divert company funds from photo retouching and invest in a a better web design and hosting company.

@stacyinbean:

i totally did

BLIND ITEM! On the demand of higher-ups, I did almost the same photoshopping to a former president for a gov't publication. (But he didn't look quite so doll-like when I was done).

So I guess I'm kind of torn, because I think this is sort of creepy and fetishy, but if I ever had kids, I wouldn't mind doing my own stylized portraits. Like just a light-and-shadow work with charcoal, or something kind of snazzy and pop-artish Nagel-esque palette.

But that's sort of more ars gratia artis and less "OMG THE CREEPY BRATZ LOOK WILL MAKE MY KIDS LOOK LIKE PAGEANT QUEENS!!1", right?

Right?

@thatsrealbutter:
Eureka! This bothers me on so many levels, but I couldn't isolate the underlying factor, and you nailed it. The image looks like a face made up for an open casket funeral. The soul is clearly gone.

That is scary. I'm going to my safe place now. Its warm and soft and there are no creepy pictures. Deep, slow breaths.

I think I'm going to have a seizure from that website. And possibly also from the abject terror.

@DalaiMama: Totes Uncanny Valley.

@heykoukla:
No, "you were supposed to be a boy" works.
But deliver it as the father Alec Baldwin plays in "Outside Providence"

@kimsama: ABRAHAM LINCOLN?? I knew his skin wasn't naturally flawless.

Kel's Photo Creations: Inappropriately sexualizing your children for 2 years. Only $35 will make your child the target of creepy internet stalkers!

@kimsama: I used MS Paint to make McCain's head look exactly like Mr. Peanut!

No, for serious! Look at his head sometime!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Photoshop is a privilege, not a right.

@exelizabeth: Hah, that is exactly the prankstering I was trying to dredge up out of the memory sludge. I couldn't remember who'd done it, though.

@bandit_a_la_mode: me too...gah! Also, like how in the sample picture, the girls eyes taper in a decidedly downward direction, but in the retouched picture, the outer corners of her eyes have, ahh, shifted heavenward. Thanks, Kel, for reinforcing an utterly flawed and fucked-up standard of beauty and ATTEMPTING TO REARRANGE THIS PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL CHILD'S FACE.

Wow, once the shitty web opened, I thought I got sucked into Children of the Damned with all those big, staring eyes. Sorta like the big-eyed puppies on velvet. Nasty, just plain nasty!

I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.

@kimsama: Also, I bet you gave the Vogue treatment to Taft and slimmed him down into some sort of unrealistic bobblehead toothpick-armed standard of beauty. You're just another piece of the MACHINE, man. Taft was just big-boned! LEAVE TAFT ALONE.

I've seen this sort of thing before - it's apparently de rigueur on the kiddie pageant set. It doesn't make it any less terrifying though!

When I asked if someone will please think of the children, this is not what I meant.

@kimsama:
Oy, yes. My nausea is 80% Uncanny Valley oriented, with the remainder attributed to the Talky Tiny doll from the old Twilight Zone episode. "Hello. My name is Talky Tina. And I'm going to kill you." (as it thumps it way up the stairs to whack Telly Savalas)
Oh, and three percent JonBenet, as ever.

Ohmahgaaaaah.

@shananigans: I pictured a poor little three year old coming out of her bedroom one morning to discover, just outside her door, an exact replica of herself. That would scare the shit out of me.