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    Australia Finally Realizes That Britney Lip-Synchs, Ex-Scientologist Claims Tom Cruise Once Made Violent Offer

    Ashlee Fired From Melrose Place; Lil Wayne Headed To Jail

    Lindsay's Dad Knows Her Drug Dealer; Spice Girls Reuniting (Again)?

    read more: #newsroundup, #ashleesimpson, #barackobama, #china, #hillaryclinton, #johnmccain, #mikehuckabee, #petewentz, #burma, #earthquake, #foodcrises, #recession

    Yeah, Your Day Wasn't Really That Bad After All

    • The Sichuan earthquake has probably killed 9,000 people, and let 80 tons of toxic liquid ammonia out into the streets, but if I know you guys it's the panda stuff that is really going to get to you. [Wash Post]
    • But — thanks investment banks! — it probably won't have that big an impact on the economy! [WSJ]
    • Or Beijing's standing as the number one toilet metropolis. [Xinhua]
    • Meanwhile in Burma the UN is projecting a death toll of 100,000, and Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon can't get junta leader Than Shwe on the phone so he actually just sent a letter, and the US is still trying to get them to accept aid at all...[Wash Post]
    • Hillary is going to win the white vote by landslide margins in West Virginia because they're still coming to grips with the notion of the first Muslim president down there. [FT]
    • Well it's about time Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson vowed lifelong commitment.[US Weekly]
    • Our favorite place Yemen made the Foreign Policy list of five most dangerous food crises, but North Korea beat it out for number one. [FP]
    • John McCain does not plan on sticking around for the ice caps to melt but remember he has young children and sometimes even the capacity for independent thought. [NYT]
    • Which may sound radical but that's what Huckabee's there for. [US News]
    • If you think you can take advantage of the crap economy just by getting in on a payday loan business, well, you sort of can. [WSJ]
    • America steadfastly refuses to forget how comprehensively shitty the Bush Administration has been. [Wash Post]


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