Canned champagne? And I thought Paris couldn't sink lower...

Canned champagne does NOT sound good at all. Seems like it would get that "tinny" taste like canned fruit does sometimes. Yeah, def not sexy!

@lauralizz: Prosecco is made by the God's - no trip to Italy is complete without it. It's way nicer than champagne, much lighter. I recommend. Though not from a can.

I think he was purposely leaving out the "and talented" after he said "lovely" during the introduction.

Also, is that canned champagne sponsored by Passions? Odd, considering it's ending. And also that, I'm sorry, but the official drink of Passions is the Martimmi. Oh, Timmy. We hardly knew ye.

@mepo: I would love sparkling wine made by the gods... I meant that it was too bad Paris got her hands on it, haha :)

How many baby wipes you think he used on that hand during the break?

Sophia Coppola already had that canned champagne, by the way. Which tasted like death and metal. Not death metal. I don't know if that would be better or worse.

I think it's funny that the band is playing "I Love Paris" as she poses her way into the chair. It's also funny that she doesn't seem to understand that Letterman is making fun of her, but someone with the IQ of a house plant seldom perceives the existence of satire.

My best friend got really angry over Paris "ruining champagne in a can" for her (she went through a big Floot period - I thought it tasted like someone burping champagne in your face!)

Bah ha ha ha ha ha.....
David Letterman, you have all of a sudden become so sexy to me. Didn't he totally make fun of Paris Hilton for her jail stint the last time she made an appearance on his show? When will she learn?
I almost actually felt bad for her....almost.

@aubonpam: BWAHAHAHAAA!!

Seriously though, taste of burping champaign in face=NOT SEXY!

David Letterman will always be the King of Comedy. I love & adore him!

HA! The last line Dave said made me spit out my water. Oh how I could watch him take shots at her all day.

"and we wonder why the world hates us..."

oh paris. masochism on national teevee ain't sexy.

I wonder if her dead, closet dogs are wearing polos. "They may be dead, but their polos? That's hot!"

my mom: is this girl such an attention whore that she'll go on letterman to get mocked constantly? me: yes

@La-to the-ura: Sofia Coppola has a line of champagne in a can, it's pretty good!!!

[www.sofiamini.com]

Totally ripping off Sofia Coppola with the fancy booze in a can. At least you get a mini straw with the Sophia Mini's.

I love that she continually pretends that she is famous for actually DOING something, instead of just for being stick thin, rich, and having the right last name.

Her legs are gleaming; I am blinded by the light reflecting off her shins. Is she actually made of plastic? I have never seen her look this much like a barbie doll (rubbery/hard at once). No wonder people mock Misha Barton when this is what other hollywooders look like.

I don't think she's smart enough to realize Letterman is purposefully insulting her.

Straight up making fun of her to her face.
I can't figure out if she's just really really oblivious or doesn't know how to get offended.

That bobbing earring is super fucking annoying.
Combined with the swinging side ponytail and "AH hahe!" laugh, Paris Hilton equals most annoying woman on the planet.
And as my best friend in high school said, "I just can't take you seriously when you wear a side ponytail."

Does she sell ear dangle hair like what she's wearing? Cause that's hawt!

And Paris, referencing mullets was funny maybe about two years ago.

@alecksander: ha! I couldn't stop staring at it. It looks like it's coming out of her ear. *shudders*

@librarysmut: That shit is cute, but does.not.taste.good. Nice to bring to a party though....

"How many cans of champagne do you need to drink to buy this?" Haaaa......

I am all for portable booze drinking devices, like wine in a juice box and champs in a can. Unless it tastes like crap. I don't know why people are so insistent that wine in a box is the end of civilization...

how much do you want to see Kristen Wiig do an impression of her?

I saw her in the bathroom of a movie theater and I remember thinking, before I knew/heard/smelled it was THE Paris, that she was the skinniest druggiest looking girl I had ever seen in my life...and that is sayin something.

Dave 2: Paris 0

I thought Paris said she would never do Letterman again after he made fun of her the last time she was on the show? Ah, the life of a fame whore. I can almost see dog clothes being Paris's calling if it weren't for that nasty rumor about what really happened to Tinkerbell.

@oceanminded: Yes! Kristen Wiig is funny on her own, but she really has a way with the up-talkers.

I think it would be more fitting if Paris shilled canned ham.

Next up One Night in Paris feminine hygiene products:
The Paris Tampon
Paris Feminine Deodorant Sprays
Paris Bladder Control Protection (that's Hot!)
Paris Feminine Wipes

You too can feel like a celebutard during menstruation, vaginal discharge, and other bodily functions.

Back to you Dave...

Oh, Prosecco Rich has been around for ages. And Paris got all spraypainted gold for it. I think it sounds sorta gross, but at the same time, I kind of want to try it.

@BalknChain: I'm pretty sure that's a squirrel tail hanging by her ear. That's hot.

From now on, the only way I want to hear anything about Paris Hilton is when she's on Letterman.

@rogerdoger: Criminal ignorance is smug bliss.

@Jezebabe: Sofia is kind of adorable! and now I reeeeally wanna try it :p
though I'd probably pour it out of the can and into a flute XD

She contributes NOTHING to society. I say we ship her to mars.

@Jezebabe: I agree! I love S.C.'s canned champagne. It's like classy meeting up with trashy. Just my style

I have a problem with synthetic cork so there's no way in hell I'll drink wine out of a box or champagne out of a can. But the little cans with straws do look cute.

Also, as some of you know, I am an elitist Obama supporter.

@mepo: Prosecco might be the greatest thing thats ever happened to me. If this chick ruins it with her prosecco in a can, I'm going after her.

I watched the appearance when Letterman was asking about prison live, and I was really, really hoping for a repeat last night. It would have really brightened my night full of antitrust studying. I guess the backhandedness will have to suffice.

This is just what I needed today.

Can't that Prosecco be in a small bottle, you know, like classy drinks such as wine coolers and Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade?

Such as.

the other day I was thinking about marketing wine in a juice box, but prosecco in a can is so much sexier.

Hatin' on Paris is so au currant. But c'mon, the clueless ditz has the balls to go on Letterman and get trashed. I love her for that.

Thank you David Letterman. Let the Paris Hilton smackdown continue.

@widowcity: That's hot (TM)

@widowcity: Three thieves already jumped you on the wine in juice boxes. It's pretty decent too and the boxes are super brightly painted (green, purple, pink) so you can drink them in public and not get caught. I drank some in front of cops in Washington Square Park and they were none the wiser.

God Bless you Dave!!! She's got no shame as to what she'll pitch huh?? I await patiently and hopefully for the day she's on there selling Herpes meds for Phizer...dude, now THAT'S sexy!! And as much as I hate this douche, I'm mighty proud that she's no longer pissing away grand-papa Baron Hilton's cash....she's pissing away her own.

Oh, and second thought. She should forget about the line of clothing for dogs, she needs to endorse a LINE OF CONTRACEPTIVES FOR DOGS!! Idiot, doesn't she own like 20 miniature pint size beasts now?? She herself is responsible for the pet over population in California!!

@ShortStaK: love the pet contraceptives idea!

paris? not sexy.

@purplejesus: I don't think it's balls, though, I think it is what you refer to as cluelessness and I think of as "too damn stupid to know any better." With a soupcon of a pathological need to self-promote thrown in for good measure. Paris is clearly of the "any press is good press" school.

Wait, that's clearly ridiculous. Paris isn't of any school, because that would require actual thought.

@