
[Los Angeles, May 7. Image via x17]
Celebrity, sex, fashion. Without airbrushing.

[Los Angeles, May 7. Image via x17]
11:15 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Anna
4,936 views
75 comments
Comments
"Bish Plz" to the apparent overabundance of scarves in SoCal.
Bish plz for thinking that title was ironic...you know that's how she thinks it's spelled.
"You did not just ask me AGAIN about my non-existant sex tape! Oh hell no!"
i see rachel zoe got to her too.
THIS is what drinking with LiLo will get you. And in the interest of full disclosure - I have those boots. Minnetonka all the way! IN THE WINTER.
Is she staring down...Kevin Bacon?
she actually looks cute, but i just can't anymore with "the hills" -- if i see spencer "flesh beard" pratt or hear his mush-mouth, nails-on-chalkboard voice one more time, i don't know what...
Her philtrum looks like it's in the middle of saying "deja vu" or "Heidi is a cow."
@sybann: It's like the leggings are contagious.
Aliza Schvartz's boots!
I didn't know Lindsay's skin condition was contagious. Huh.
Does she look a little like Nicole Richie here?
How are those boots still in style?
SHVARTS BOOTS
Bish pease, Jon Bon Jovi. I SO did NOT steal your outfit from 1985. Ok, maybe I did, but I wasn't born yet, so step off. I go to fashion school.
@tscheese: I think those are jeans, for the record. Very, very tight jeans.
"I know it's 80 degrees. My neck just gets cold sometimes, OK?"
I don't think anyone wearing those boots ought to be able to say "Bish Plz".
She looks like I feel: hungover.
I however, will soon be fixing that with a Big Mac, and watching The Wire on DVD. I fear that Lauren will be fixing hers with leggings and scarves purchasing.
Try saying "Shvartz boots, bish plz" 10 times fast.
It comes out "schlarf blootch," which is my new word for whatever the fuck whatsername is wearing here.
Is that a wedding ring set on her left hand?
And how did her poor feet get attacked by a Yeti in the middle of May?
I so confuzed.
When Addams Family came out, I think I remember hearing that Anjelica Huston had to be sewn into her dress because it had to be so tight....Lauren's pants remind me of this vague memory. Perhaps that is why she looks a little faint...?
@ScoutFinch: hahahaha SO TRUE.
girl-on-girl crime alert: I must say that has to be one of the worst outfits ever of all time, very unflattering. done.@animasola: LOL, I thought, is she on her way to a self-induced miscarriage? What's in that bag anyway? Shvarts boots, indeed.
@thebomb: @animasola: thanks SO much. Now I'll have to buy Uggs.
@bananaballs: Those aren't boots, it's the dreaded Hairy Ankles Syndrome. Poor girl.
Lauren Conrad: Channeling Steven Tyler. And a camel toe.
I feel I am glimpsing LC as small, petulant child here.
She has two facial expressions: annoyed/confused (pictured here) and flirty smile. Glad I'm not the only person who has airport bitchface though.
"What? No I can't, I'm off to hear the wolf cry to blue corn moon, sing with all the voices of the mountain, you know how it is."
"Oh my god, look at me nails. Hey, did you see my nails? Jeez, my nails. I should do my nails. Oh my god. My nails are, like ... I should do them."
Sienna Miller is going to be PISSED!
Outfit sez: "This is a costume party, and I'm dressed as Stephen Tyler's microphone stand. Srsly."
Stance/face sez: "I'm brewing up a serious dookie bubble."
"You mean you DON'T know what Heidi did?
I thought this was Nicole Richie for a second.
Ok. I am going to come out and say it. I love scarves. Have loved them forever, particularly since my highschool obsession with Isadora Duncan (which was weird, considering I didn't dance. Bitch was bad ass though. Go read her autobiography! Now!).
Also. I love leggings. A lot. Especially my gold ones.
And boot moccassins? Want.
@ScoutFinch: Ugly talk? Why you gotta be like that?
"What do you mean I can't use yetti fur in my collection? Are they endangered?"
@Notes from the underwhelmed: fascinating!
@Jezebabe: And, for the sake of human evolution, may all her eggies get the Shvarts treatment
@ScoutFinch: Yeah, no skin cracks, please. Read this for more info:
[jezebel.com]
@ineffable.me: If Lauren starts rocking a striped shirt, it's gonna get bloody.
"You know what you did Lauren!"
@ineffable.me: Sometimes I love you so much it makes me pee a little.
Also, in the miniature before you click the link, she looks kind of like a tiny tiny Megaman! With the big flaring robot feet.
Except with more highlights and less firing of lasers.
@BAngieB:
It was just my envy talking. I REALLY want a tan.
as much as i frown upon the unseasonable wearing of scarves, i kind of want to steal hers.
This is a picture. Who is in this picture? I like shaggy boots. They remind me of "Shag," the movie. Have y'all seen that? It has one of the Phoebe actresses in it. They go to SC, I think? I live in SC.
Rainbows. Beach towels. Coffee grounds. Butter.
@theruraljuror: You stole my thoughts, she does look like Nicole Richie.
Those pants look like you would have to pull the lying on the bed sucking in stomach move to zip them up.
Cher called. She'd like her boots, circa "Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves" back.
Actually, I think those boots are a pretty creative usage of JustinBobby's newly-shorn hair.
@myrtlebeachbum: I love you!
I like to think she has one of those $10 airport watches in her bag. And th erest of her outfit.
Why is it that people who don't remember the 80's always try to bring back the worst bloody parts of the 80's?
@hortense: I think at this point I am genuinely confused over what is an acceptable comment and what is an offensive comment.
I was not trying to be cruel. I was trying to be silly. I definitely thought poking fun at an orangey tan was okay.
I'm sorry LC!
@BowlingForDollars: That was hysterical! I'm actually old enough to remember that song.
She is mastering the bitchface lately, that's for sure!
@ScoutFinch:
No way - pale is where it's AT baby.
@ScoutFinch:
Erp, does that mean no one can be compared to an Oompa Loompa anymore? Damn.
She's three frames away from a fully flipped bird. If only she'd won the photographer challenge.
Those bags in the background? That's her carry-on luggage. You don't even want to KNOW what she checks.
@BowlingForDollars: But, when Lauren wears those boots all the men come around, and lay their mony down...
@biscuitdoughjones:Well, her momma used to dance for the money they'd throw.
Throw a pair of leopard print shorts on her and that outfit greatly resembles Yale's Aliza Shvarts. Are the 80's really back?!
@tscheese: I just wanted to say "Thanks" for regularly cracking me up and making my day with your comments. Also, my nickname in grade school long,long ago was cheese. My friends were not creative enough to put a 'ts' in front :-)
God help me, but I want to cockpunch anyone who wears those boots, even more so when it's totally inappropriate considering the weather.
she always looks washed out to me. like she needs a little pink in her cheeks.
BISH PLZ is one of the most sensational things Jezebel has been responsible for since its inception.
@BAngieB: Those boots have a special pocket big enough for a couple bottles of Dr. Good.
My shenis stance: let me show you it