Mischa Barton Fights The Battle Of The (Digitally Enhanced?) Bulge

  • Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
  • You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
  • Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
  • Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
  • Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]
  • It looks like officials in Malawi are all set to grant full adoption rights to Madonna. A document says: "Mr and Mrs Ritchie have shown a strong commitment in providing the infant with all essential needs like love, safe home environment, care, protection, material as well as emotional support." [Yahoo News]
  • Jessica Simpson will be little sister Ashlee's maid of honor. At Ashlee's yet-to-be-scheduled wedding. [People]
  • Jeremy Piven and Pink: Seen "all over each other" and "dancing really close." [Page Six]
  • Alec Baldwin may want to switch careers. "In a matter of weeks, I'm going to be 50," he says. As long as he doesn't leave 30 Rock! [Page Six]
  • Even though Tom Cruise told Oprah that he regrets his infamous argument on the Today show, Matt Lauer, Lauer says, "I don't think he needs to apologize. I don't feel there are any hard feelings. It was an interview. It was a good moment on television." Oh Matt. You're glib, Matt. Glib. [People]
  • Jessica Alba challenges you to a staring contest. [People]
  • Katie Holmes "has got the itch" to have another baby. Praise Xenu! [E!]
  • Poor Uma Thurman may be in court again! Lancôme is suing Uma as a preemptive strike: Her contract as the face of the cosmetics company expired in 2005; yet her picture was seen in ads on Asian websites and on a Canadian billboard recently. [E!]
  • Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get their locks lightened by the same colorist. News you can use. [E!]
  • Josh Brolin as George W. Bush. [E!]
  • Daisy Lowe, 19, is loving hanging out with new boyfriend Mark Ronson, 32. Sigh. [Daily Mail via ONTD]
  • Um, Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton-John and contestant on Rock The Cradle, seems to have had quite a bit of collagen injected into her lips. And maybe a nose job. [ONTD]
  • When Simon Cowell was a teenager, he hated school so much he was practically suicidal. He says, "I was so bored. I didn't like rules or discipline. So when someone said, 'These are the best days of your life' I actually thought about jumping off a bridge." [Mirror]
  • Foxy Brown pleaded guilty to "menacing" a woman with her BlackBerry in 2007 and thereby avoided going on trial for assault. Time for a kinder, gentler Foxy! [Reuters]
  • There is audio of the domestic violence 911 call involving Vanilla Ice, if you care to hear it. [The Superficial]
  • Madonna is endorsing secondary ticket sales for her upcoming tour, which means if at first it seems like it's sold out, it might not be — if you have the cash. [Financial Times]
  • Ashton Kutcher slept around before he met Demi Moore, surprise, surprise. [The Sun]
  • Daniel Depp got his debut novel published, maybe because he is Johnny Depp's (half) brother? [Independent]
  • Hot hottie Gary Dourdan of CSI has been charged with felony drug possession. Maybe I'm old but I remember him best as the gorgeous man in the Janet Jackson video. [Yahoo News]
  • Rihanna kissing Chris Brown at KFC! LOL! [Concrete Loop]