Wow. Jona's parents must be some really incredible people. I think it's one thing to accept your child as transgendered after they grow up, but to embrace it since theyre little is truly amazing.

My friend was telling me about a show she saw where there was a little boy that always wanted to be a girl, his parents wouldnt let him and he tried to kill himself AT 6 YEARS OLD, at which point his parents relented and now he gets to dress however he wants and plays with dolls. It wasnt as extreme as the Jona case though i dont think.

I listened to this yesterday on the ride home and was riveted. How we handle something like this, not just as parents, but as a society, has long-term consequences for freedom and equality in this nation and the world. Right now, I don't think there's a clear-cut answer, just two divergent camps who both think they have the right answer. Only time is going to tell which has the better track record of dealing with the issue.

I'm so glad you chose to post this. I had what NPR would call a "driveway moment" yesterday listening to this. Totally fascinating.

As a parent, aren't you supposed to love and nurture and accept your child just as they are? I think Jona(h) sounds much healthier and happier, and I don't think we need to look much further than that to settle the issue.

Everyone should rent the French movie "My Life in Pink." This should just now be a normal part of the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" lessons that all expecting parents learn.

I am really surprised Zucker is practicing this theory and will not be surprised when Bradley grows up, finds herself and sues the pants of Zucker for inflicting harm.

That is an incredible story and I have no idea how I feel about it. I am happy for Jona and sad for Bradley but the whole thing is just too much of a mindfuck to process.

I think forcing Bradly to live as a boy is not gonna be healthy with his self-esteem. I would take a page from Jona's parents.

Applause for the parents and mental-health professionals who are encouraging Jona to express herself. There's no artifice to a 2-year-old. What harm can it do to allow a child to be unequivocally themselves?

Wow. Go Jona's parents. Like @ineffable.me: said, I know they are both trying to do what is best, but when the truth about your child is smacking you in the face like that, how do you deny her what she wants and what she is? Also, it's one thing to say "No dresses" it's completely another to say "No dresses, no Barbies. Take this football."

@ineffable.me: It just goes to show that the "problem" is deeply rooted. In both cases, the boys were manifesting this gender identity switch at 2-3 years old! It's as if despite the genetic programming that created them as males, some subtle influence in their development allowed them to develop identities as females. And how that happens -- I wouldn't even know where to start.

it's funny how this doesn't really work the other way around, or it isn't nearly as controversial. i definitely knew a girl who lived as a boy, and while we thought she was weird, and were really startled when she showed up at the pool in a one-piece instead of board shorts, nobody wrote npr pieces about her (him?).

@NefariousNewt: I was intrigued by the black/white, female/male analogy.

I still don't know what to make of that....

"Ma Vie en rose" is a beautiful beautiful film that I recommend to everyone.

Gender. is. a. construct. See? Even children get it.

Consider the action being taken against surgeons deciding for intersex babies what they should be and how horrendous that is considered now...I hope and pray that this relization isn't far behind for Trans rights.

@Archetype: "Driveway moment"-- I love it! When I lived in LA I listened to NPR exclusively and had many driveway moments.

Anyone see that movie Ma Vie en Rose? It was about a little transgendered boy and the parents struggled with this exact issue, eventually letting him wear dresses and live as a girl. When the parents were in the phase of forcing him to live as a boy the kid was so miserable I wanted to adopt him and buy him pretty pink dresses. If any of my boys had this issue, I think I could handle taking the lenient approach--husband however.....

Is that little girl Jona? She's /adorible/.

I was going to be worried about what kids around her will do when she hits middle or high school... and then I realized that her psychiatrist is working out of the Bay Area. Heh. Here's hoping she'll get love and support from everyone around her.

@BlowJoy: Yea!

OK, WTF to Dr. Zucker? There is a HUGE difference between a male child that wants to be a little girl and a black child that has succumbed to social pressures of idealizing whiteness.

jona's parents are amazing for helping there kid be who he is. I sorta had this happen to me too but it was mostly because i was hanging out with girls too much and i had "certain mannerisms" that my teacher decided to tell my parents that i should hang out with the boys more and my (girl) friends were discouraged from playing with me.

Blowjoy:

that was my first thought when reading this! "it's like a real life Ma Vie en Rose!"

adorable, adorable, movie.

After reading "As Nature Made Him" and studying transgender and intersex in college, I am SO with Jonah's parents. It can't be easy, but bless them for giving him the freedom to be a child.

I get SO SICK of people insisting on gendered toys and colors and activities for their children - one colleague's son like to dance, so they're nipping that in the bud and getting him into soccer right away. He also likes pink - HELL NO is his daddy going to allow that. It's beyond idiotic.

Fascinating. These little boys are so much more girly than I was (short hair, tonka trucks)... It's crazy to me to think that girls prefer pink and boys blue, or whatever...
I think that it's awesome that Jonah's parents let him be who he wants, but I think it's kind of sad that he can't be a little boy who loves pink and dorothy and whatnot - I feel like we're getting closer, but we're still not totally there. Wherever there may be.

I heard this story, and while my anti-mandatory gender identities alarm was screaming loudly at the statements of Dr. Zucker, I also found the transgendering of a 4 year old troubling.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a mermaid - for real, was convinced I could grow fins and join Ariel under the sea if I tried hard enough. kids have malleable identities that shift and change with time and with their imagination. Illusion it may be, gender identity and learning how to exhibit certain gendered behaviors is a very important component of becoming socialized. I would worry that he might grow up in a few years, decide he is a boy after all, but have missed out on important developmental years of learning how to act like a boy. I wish there were a way to let kids just be non-gendered "kids" until they're old enough (as in starting to hit puberty) to figure out their gender preferences etc.

This stuff is amazing to me. I studied under professors who raised their children to be "gender neutral" and it fascinated me. I don't know how their kids turned out - but I think there was a lot of gender confusion, to be honest.

What a challenging situation, for parents and child both. I feel proud of Jona's parents for how they handled it, and hope others in this sitch can learn something from their apparent success.

Also, the first few episodes of "The Riches" showed the family having a really lovely indifference, if that makes sense, to the youngest boy's cross-dressing.

Personally all my children are going to rock mohawks until they are old enough to chose their own haircut lol

I really hope Jona's parents are the wave of the future. I think Dr. Zucker's argument is a a strong one and appeals to our sense of what would definitely be considered clinically bad (wanting to be another skin color; thinking your foot didn't belong on your body, etc.)

But science keeps revealing more and more biological support for gender identity being hardwired. We can see penis or no penis from a child's birth, but gender just isn't that simple.

This story made me want to go out and adopt a little transgender kid so she or he could be themselves.

I still don't get why pink and dolls have to be "girl" things and sports and presumably the color blue are "boy" things. That just doesn't sit well with me. Those externals should be allowed to transcend gender in this day & age. If we could remove that filter, I think a lot of kids would be happier,not just transgendered children. As for raising a transgendered child, it sounds like Jona's parents have found the right approach, and I hope Bradley and her parents are able to find acceptance and happiness someday.

@LaComtesse: I know! When I got into the house I e-mailed Jez with the link right away (although I'm sure they heard it as well) because I really wanted to read everyone's input on this.

I think this would be a really tough issue for any parent, but if the kids are really happy being "girls", let them be!

@JennaW:
NOTE: "is a strong one" in that it plays right into our emotional response to such a scenario and NOT to our brains.

I feel for both sets of parents. Transgender issues aren't something they cover in parenting books. But I will say that I would rather tell my son, "Look, you're a little different, but be who you are and force society to accept you," as opposed to "Look, there's something wrong with you. Force yourself to change and be accepted."

there's no biological difference between races but there is a difference between physical sex (gender is totally different).

it's not just that gender is a construct, but that often transgendered people literally have their internal chemicals crossed. chemically, they're probably girls, and it causes them to identify with the construct that is femaleness. i've had many many transgendered friends. it's a hard road to trek, and supportive parents are the best assets they could have sometimes.

@tailfeather: people are afraid of what they dont understand. Sad really.

I think Dr. Ken is wrong and his argument using race is weak. Gender is an assigned social construct with specific "roles" which says there are only two sexes.
May cultures don't agree with this and allow people freedom to pick the gender right for them.

I hope Bradley's parent find another doctor soon. It is a sad thing to see suicidal children because they feel unaccepted by society and their own family.

Kudos to Jona and his family.

I listened to this this morning. I don't know exactly how to articulate all the thoughts and feelings I have about it (other than that Zucker's methods seem awfully cruel), and I understand that they boys have always identified as "girls" but I do wish there could be some way to live between Polly Pocket world and whatever it is that Bradley was given to replace his "girl" toys.

If I had a transgendered child, I'd love them just the same and let them explore and enjoy being a child. However, I would throw their butts in kickboxing/self-defense right away. 'Cause mama-love won't protect you from the ass-holes of the world.

Most girls I know don't like pink and are not "girlie". That doesn't make them "tomboys". The kids do not have gender issues because they like "girl" things. They are just boys who like pretty things. Nothing wrong or really ususal about that. Most boys are interested in nailpolish and makeup. It is just paint to them.

@Begorrah: Exactly. How can you argue otherwise when there are these two remarkable children as evidence?

@tailfeather: Yeah, that's stupid.

It was kind of heartbreaking, because Bradley's parents didn't seem awful, they just didn't know what to do. It wasn't just the gender confusion, they were concerned that he only socialized with girls as well.

I hope everything works out for both families.

Jona's really lucky to have such understanding parents. Though I can see why Bradley's parents might have difficulty accepting him as he is - their background and the community they live in might not make it an easy choice for them. 'Ma vie en Rose' is a brilliant insight into this issue, oh and ludovic (the main character) is just adorable.