I grew up around these women too and man do they love them some precious moments. and they give them to you as gifts on communion and confirmation and graduation... lord above.

While I can in no way relate to having a mom like this or growing up around women like this (my mom immigrated here from El Salvador when she was 12) I still could not stop cracking up. Thanks SM, this reminded me of Coffee Talk back when SNL was really funny.

OMG, I love him/her! "What is burning?"
More please.

i fell out of my chair and knocked myself out for like a solid 30 seconds after "OH! look at the DUCKS!"

@FullSpeedLohan: That's what got me, too! Although the breakfast in bed segment, and "you talk like that to me on Mother's Day" were strong . . .

My mom is from TN, but she does that talking-on-the-phone-while-on-the-toilet thing too. ALL THE TIME. She is still somehow convinced that the person on the other line can't hear the toilet flush. Or maybe she just doesn't give a damn.

@ZippyTortoise: im not a mom and i do this all the time. if i am talking on the phone with you long enough so that i need to pee? you should have no problem with me sitting on the bowl while we yap.

oh GOD, the Christmas version of this video is so fracking brilliant

LOL! I love these videos. Although my mom doesn't really talk or act like that, she's totally expecting me to make breakfest in bed for her. But she's awesome, so she deserves it.

@FullSpeedLohan: That makes sense. I think my mom must get bored when she has to piss, because she'll call me and then flush the toilet 30 seconds into the conversation. It always makes me wonder how long she was talking to the person she was on the phone with before (she's on the phone a lot, not having discovered teh internetz yet) and then just decided at the end of her phone/bathroom sesh, "hey! I'll call my daughter now."

The Christmas Tree was the funniest shit ever, and The Phone Call was pretty good, too. I'm from Jersey and can completely relate to this, in more ways than I'd care to admit. I like to see him get props where they're due!

"Cuz he's an asshole, that why!!!"

It makes me beyond happy that you posted this. The "Jackie is no longer my BFF" skit by the same guy made me die with glee because its every girl I went to high school with to a tee.

Oh my Godddd I love this guy. The weird part is that my mom, who is a Jersey gal, does not think they are funny at AWWWL, and usually the same stuff cracks us up.

Yay! Happy Mother's Day! I hope to be nom-nom-nomming on heart-shaped bacon from bed, with fancy mimosas and baby donuts.

Hahaha I love this...My mom does the "I don't want anything" shit all the time. She so secretly wants gifts and stuff though. Her Mother's Day gifts this year are Hershey Chocolate Bars, Doral Light 100s, and a gift card to Half Price Books where she can buy trashy novels. She'll love it.

I am making her watch this video when I see her this weekend.

Oh my gawd this hilarious and ohhhhhhh sooo very true of most LI mom's. (Ahem, I live in Jill Zarin territory.)

"What's burning?".......I had to pause because I could not control my laughter.

But the best is "You speak to me like that on Mother's Day."

Thanks SM

YES. This guy rocks.

This guy is awesome. He should at least get an SNL tryout if not supporting player role. I'll bet he has more characters.

Muther's day, not to be outdone by LI's valentimes day.

i AM OBSESSED with him. I love "Christmas Tree" because everyone has a mom who has acted like that in their lives especially if you're from NYC/Jersey.

Yet more evidence (and I say this from personal familial experience) that Italian-American Catholics from Jersey and Jews are THE SAME PEOPLE.

Thank you Aunt Rose.

OH MY GOD!
those are quite possibly my favorite youtube videos ever. but here is the thing...I have great Aunts JUST LIKE THAT, except we are a total californian family. But the Aunts that are like that were the ones who were raised in Mexico and came here as children, so maybe that was their way of adapting to american culture.

Italian-American Catholics, Jewish mommas, and African-American mommas (of which I had one) from New Jersey all get off at the same 10 foot telephone cord exit...I died!

The older I get, the less this seems like my mom and the more it seems like me.

@marmite: yes! and we all have an aunt rose, and aunt mary, and sometimes even Rose Mary or Mary Rose! to the jewish italian catholic moms who raised us, thanks!

My family is English, but I still relate to these videos. He's really onto something with the moms, no matter where they're from.

The hairspray while walking down the hall killed me. Seriously. I died.

I'm from the Midwest but a lot of this reminds me of my mom. "Look at the ducks!" and "Why am I doing this?" talking to herself while doing chores. Also, for years, at Christmas she says "Oh good, this is the one that I wanted." instead of "Thank you".

And she collects Precious Moments.

Fucking brilliant! There were moments when I found myself thinking, "Yup, this is what I sound like most of the time." Minus the kids and husband.

@KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: Awesome.

Love. Him.

As someone who grew up on long island, this is fucking spot on. The tacky hair and outfits, the ridiculous penchant for obnoxious phrases and the irritating nasal accent. I recommend the next one be performed in a Juicy Couture jump suit for increased street cred.

O.M.G. The best? The combination of Elizabeth Arden, the purple scarfy tie blouse, and the guilt. "That's all I'm asking for! One night with your mother! On Mother's day!"

Awesomeness.

Is that the Freehold mall? Hahaha!

I have an unassuming, quirky, blindingly funny Midwestern mom with that "ja, doancha know" accent. I've only lived in the NYC area for about five years now.

But the "What's burning?" thing is UNIVERSAL TO ALL MOTHERS.

@MansonNixon:The accent may change from mother to mother, but the passive aggressive guilt tripping remains a blessed constant.

Aw. My mom just sent me my first mother's day card and it totally TORE ME UP. And it was fun sending her one from her grandson, too. I think I'm starting to get it all now.

He and Amy Sedaris need to do a show together.

Wow, this is absolutely everyone I know. This is coming from a Jersey girl, born and raised, with two parents from Staten Island. Even my mom, who isn't really the stereotypical "New York", has so many of the same behaviors and nuances (see the Christmas Tree video.

@trikitixa: hairspray... reminds me how much john R owes inspiration to the great Divine in john waters movies...

Oh my gawd--HOW did my Aunt Carol get reincarnated in this guy? She's not even dead.

Jersey represent! SM now i know where you get your SASS... JERSEY GIRL!!!

I'm from Long Island, and some of my relatives are like this. Nasal voices, wanting to keep every tradition, telling me things they saw on Oprah or The View, having us cram in front of something for a picture, uncomfortable kissing and hugging and nosy questions, and Italian food no matter what holiday it is. Thank you to John for sending this up.

And yes, Italian Catholics and Jews are very similar. My family came from Brooklyn and Long Island, and grew up with Jewish neighbors. My dad, my brother, and I have all been mistaken for being Jewish. My grandma is Italian-American and reminds me of her Jewish old lady friends.

John Roberts rules. I watched the Christmas Tree like three dozen times when I was home on Long Island for Christmas, as it was the only thing that kept me sane.

Turn on the tree. For me. And pick up that shit.

My mama isn't even from Jersey, but she is TOTALLY this lady at Christmas.

OH MY FREAK! Brilliant!
And scary--John Roberts is my LI doppelganger......

In December, I watched "Christmas Tree" three times a day for a week. At least.

John can do no wrong.

@marmite: "... Italian-American Catholics from Jersey and Jews are THE SAME PEOPLE."

I say this with LOVE....It is the same here in Lawg Island!!!!!!!!

(But it's the Italians and Irish who make the most beautiful kids!)

brilliant! my mom reads passing signs when we're in the car like she's a 7 year old autistic kid. i hear this is a pretty common mom trait.

Watching this as I have my morning tea, I'm dying. It's spot-on. And also relieved--John has reassured me that there's more than one guy out there who has his inner North Jersey/LI woman inside of him besides my fiance. Brava!!!

i don't know whether to laugh or cry because this is me

My totally midwestern mom "doesn't want anything" for mother's day... but she does. I think this is a universal truth for moms everywhere.

haha me and my friends were obsessed with "the tree" around christmas time... its soo contagious to quote it... has anyone else seen the jackieeee and deborah skit? HILARIOUS.

"Come ovah, we're gonna decorate the treeeeeah"

"Who wants baileys?"

sooo jersey

@BUTTERCUPJEFFERSON: I sent the Xmas tree one to my mom back then and she watched it so often, laughing and laughing, that my dad started to go bonkers. She called me the first time she watched it and was like, "Is this supposed to be me?!"
Love it.
"Go turnonmy tree!"

"You talk like that to ya mutha on mutha's day? Nice."
SOOOOO my mother. Sending it to her now!

He is pure genius. Thanks so much for the clip! It'll make every New York girl's Mother's Day easier to bear.

I think some mom aspects are universal. The Christmas Tree clip had me dying because her obsession with the tree matches my mom's obsession about anything, be it Christmas Trees, the feral cat population in my neighboorhood, or the political intrigue of the flock of wild turkeys that hang out in our back yard ("look, I think they're shunning that one. they all ran away from him")

@rouncewell:

oh, god my m-i-l does this and my husband is starting to do it now...

@medialady:

My only saving grace is the not collecting precious moments thing. And no way would my family evah give me breakfast in bed, the ungrateful pigs.

Aw, the "My Son is Gay" one is really sweet! Go John!

@anniebo: that's my favorite! it doesn't hurt that my name is jackie but still.

I had a half a sip of a wine cooler.

I'M JEALOUS OF YOU, JACKIE!

Ahh! This is my mall and my park! This makes it so much more perfect than it already was...there wasn't enough guilt in it though.

I wonder if he's ever auditioned for Wife Swap--because that would be the best episode EVER!!

I hope this part of New York never dies or gets overtaken by the outtatowniz. Anyone who wants to hear this as a real-time cacophony, take the B44 all the way down to Kings Plaza and stroll around for an hour. ("There wuzza Sam Guddy here. What, it's gone now?")