This is why you have to utilize the "Courtesy Flush"!!

I just had a violent poop reaction to the shrimp cocktail I had for lunch. Thank god no one was in the restroom.

Why are men so fascinated by what women do in the bathroom?

I need those underwears. Also, I love Graham Norton. He's just so dern cute.

I'm not ashamed to say that that made me LOL. I'm also not ashamed to say that I am watching a Keanu Reeves E! True Story right now either.
Yeah I know. TMI.

@ceejeemcbeegee (AKA!): They think we're talking about them.

@Emily: He is isn't he! I loved him on Father Ted, one of the best comedies ever!

There are a couple of women in my building who talk on the phone while they are in the bathroom.

WHY?

@Archetype: It's a bathroom for CartmanSake! You are supposed to do your business, no matter how vile it may be.

Who are these people who care what the bitch in the stall is doing? I'm too busy trying to teeter over the bowl in high heels whilst balancing my heavy-ass purse.

Graham has done some amazing things on his show.

@ineffable.me: Is it wrong that I try and make (or fake) awkward noises when that happens? I loathe people on the phone in the bathroom, so I do my best to make them uncomfortable and get off the phone.*

*When I do this, I won't come out of the stall until they're gone. For some reason my lack of shame only extends to making the noises - I don't want them to see me!

Oh my God, Cagney and Lacey - best show ever and wahey ahead of its time.

@ineffable.me: My boss said that he's seen more than a few men bust out their cells while at the urinal.

I will never pass a man his cell. Not without a napkin.

I hate it when I'm at work, and the person in the stall next to me recognizes me b/c of my "cute shoes." Dude, seriously, do not call me out on the terr-let.

@biscuitdoughjones: Yeah, I don't want ANYONE speaking to me while I am using the bathroom. It fucks up my concentration.

@virtualcatlady: Father Ted is...the word "awesome" is inadequate. I own the DVD set. And a book of all the scripts. And a freaky t-shirt with Dermot Morgan's face on it.

I'll have to watch this when I'm not in the office, but let me just say I love Graham Norton. I read an interview in which he was talking about his days as a waiter when he was starting out. He got sacked because he put a sign on the door of the restaurant that said "Please use other door." Only there was no other door. He just stood back and laughed at all the customers looking around for the non-existent door. What a child. I love it.

@FourInchHeels: I do that too! Or I slam the stall door or yell "does anyone have a tampon?"

one time, i did have to use my underwear. it was in mexico, where they have the toilet paper mounted on the wall before you get in your stall, and if you forget to snatch some, you're s.o.l cuz sometimes they're the pay toilets and you'd have to leave, pay again, and then get your t.p. and don't even get me started on toilets in east africa. that was an adventure in learning how to be comfortable with what your body does.

@Archetype: My friend told me that a guy at her work was in the mens room and heard a guy watching porn on his mobile in the bathroom. I shit you not.

In the small, 3-stall bathroom where I work, I came across two women who were pooping together. They were also having a discussion that was apparently private, because as soon as I came in, one yelled, "DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT! SOMEONE ELSE IS IN HERE!"

@biscuitdoughjones: That is the WORST. My shoes are pretty unique, not to mention enormous, and I just can't fucking win. People are always all "Oh, tscheese? I thought it was you! How are you?"

I rarely say "Hoping you'll leave so I can continue with this transaction that involves my butt," though I am sorely, sorely tempted.

My friend ran out of toilet paper and used gum wrapper...ouch.

When I lived in London, I met Graham Norton on the street. He was getting out of his car and chatting on his cell phone as I walked home from the Tube -- I did a double take and turned around to look, whence he caught my eye. I managed to stutter, "I've seen you! On- on TV?" and he shot me a death glare, nodded tersley, and stormed away.

C'mon ladies; Be a man, use your hand!

@ineffable.me: There are a few women in my office who try to talk to ME when I'm in the other stall. WHY? I'm not drunk and at the club, and they are not my best buds.

I'm just not comfortable having conversations with my pants around my ankles with women I don't know or even really like.

There's also someone who keeps throwing dirty toilet paper on the floor. As in soiled. Ew. Ew. Ew.

WHY?

@Emily: I went to see Graham live several years ago. He was funny, but on the mean side of snarky. Made fun of my friend for wearing a pashmina in a freezing cole theater.

I was bummed, however, when he announced it wasn't going to be like th show and there would be no "Stand Up / Sit Down" game. That was the best part of the show backintheday.

From my bathroom in my apartment I have a) made phone calls to people b) checked my rss feeds on my laptop c) was forced to use the cob* of the toilet paper because we were out of both that and paper towels and both my boyfriend and neighbor were at work.

*has anyone ever heard that term for the cardboard roll of the TP? My dad used it all the time and I don't know if it's just a him/Texas thing. He's the only Texan I know.

I love Graham Norton. I saw this on the show, and it made me giggle. I know it is a natural occurrence, but I always titter a bit when I hear someone let one rip. I'm incredibly mature.

@MonkeySeeMonkeyDo: Because no matter how old, well educated or mature we are, farting is ALWAYS FUNNY.

i laugh when someone even says "fart."

i blame my parents, who banned all but the most genteel terms for such events. (eg, "pass gas")

it made FARTING that much funnier.

i laughed when i typed that in all caps. sigh.

@cautionarywhale: @MonkeySeeMonkeyDo: @langtry: Then you will all appreciate these pieces of utter brilliance.Proceed to cry with laughter:

+ Watch video

and this(it's really bad quality and there are some foreign subtitles on it but the hilariousness translates!)

+ Watch video

my small children like to ask others if they are pooping.

That video was hysterical! I laughed out loud the 3 times in a row I watched it.

potty humor is still fair game at family dinners. kids are all graduated from college, parents are in their 60s. it's great. it's usually my mom that gets the ball rolling.

we have over 60 women that work in my office and only 4 stalls. there have been more times that i care to admit that i had to pick me feet up and put them on the stall door because i didn't want anyone looking at my, knowing it we me laughing like an 8 year old boy at someone's fart. granted, i don't always make the bathroom smell like roses, but DAMN i just can't help myself. farts are my favorite to laugh at.

@Archetype:

Guys using cellphones in the john - that's nothing. I was at a basketball game a few months back and saw a dude standing at the urinal, EATING A CHEESEBURGER WHILE HE PISSED.

Every time I think I've seen it all...