Hilary, cowboy boots? Still? It's NOT 2003. get on with it.

Jessica Alba you might wear those long dresses, but that don't mean you're Angelina Jolie okeh?

Goddamn, Jennifer Aniston looks good.

Is anyone else incredibly confused by Paris's dress?

I'd never heard of Mark Ronson until I started reading this site, but now I'm in love. And I think Jennifer Aniston has the best life ever. How I long to spend my days in bikinis, tanning and looking hot on the beach.

Why is Paris standing like that? Isn't pointing your toes inward a sign of submission?

Paris looks like she's going to fall over or something. What's going on with her wonky legs? She usually just does the feet-crossed-in-front-of-each-other pose.

"No, please Ms. Aniston, allow me to rub the sunscreen all over you... I am after all, a pool boy!"

@TruculentandUnreliable: My first thought on seeing Paris's dress: This'll probably be up on GoFugYourself later today.

Also, is Mark Ronson wearing a leather suit? Because it sort of looks like it, but I'm hoping I'm just confused.

@LucyRed: It's the Cyndy Lauper "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" pose.

So I'm looking at some SJ photos.

And there's a knock-kneed bimbo posin like a ho.

@TruculentandUnreliable: There's no mistaking the two - Jessica's dress isn't a shade of black, and she's also not toting a husband wearing a 30's mobster hat. Also, she smiles. She's like AJ, if Angelina acted like a human and wore colors.

@TruculentandUnreliable: Her dress and her "oooooh I gotta peeeee" stance. I still make that one when the person I'm talking to won't shut up and I have to pee - I dance around like a 4 yr old and squeeze my legs together. It's quite attractive, really. I get all the men.

Paris looks like she's trying so hard to get her legs to go together. But. they. just. won't. do. it.

those pregnancy hormones must be kicking in hardcore, 'cause ms. alba doesn't look like a complete bitchface.

paris...really? words fail me.

@cate3710: looks like a shantung or else some kind of coated cotton. Very 60s, ne c'est pas?

@brendastarlet: Okay, that makes sense. Thank you. I saw the vaguely shiny and was fearful.

@myrtlebeachbum: niiiiice.

Maybe this is because I have sisters with whom I still act like I'm eight years old, but the photo of Pink makes me want to smack her on the bottom and then run away giggling gleefully while clutching my own butt cheeks as protection against retaliation.

@cate3710: it seems right for a music industry hipster.

@sassymoniker: Watch out, though, she is likely to throw that dog poop at you! Thank you Pink, for picking up after your pooch.

Paris looks like she's about to break into song & dance with the von Trapps.

Pink picks poo, Pitts preciously preggers, princess pops pose, brookidy has bloody mary.

@DorothyZbornak: so it's the opposite of "if you dont use it, you lose it"

@brookidy: say it three times fast!

@honeybunchesofoats: I've been having a weekend comparable to Jen Aniston's, I think. The only difference is that I live in a 30 sq m apartment, sunbathed on my crummy but quite roomy balcony, have absolutely no money in the bank and don't weigh 80 pounds...

Oh, see I thought Paris decided to upgrade her pet du jour to a baby giraffe. And this was her way of preparing. I know when we got our dog, I spent a good bit of time on all fours, sniffing asses.

the 6 year old in me wants to be best friends w/ heidi klum's daughter.

Paris Hilton: vapid no-talent celebrity by day, pigeon-toed superhero by night.

Clearly Heidi's child need a Tim Gunn intervention.

Yay, Weekend SJ is back! How I love this little non-animated news reel.

I had this crazy dream where I met Angelina Jolie and she had her babies and she was carrying them in a basket. Super weird? That is all I think about when I see her now...

what is happening in the blake lively shot? gal pals running on the beach in matching white button-downs? or some sort of perfume ad?

@DorothyZbornak: I laughed so hard I think I snorted.

Can I please have Mark Ronson? He makes me swoon.

@warbean: See, I look at that picture and I start hearing the Chariots of Fire theme in my head.

Dude, Paris is seriously veering down the Bai Ling path of doom.

Jessica Alba's dress is wack, but she looks slightly less miserable! Hurrah! Angelina's choice of fabric worries me. A lot.

Ronson's suit is absurd, but the least he could have done was take the jacket off and sexy it up a little. Nothing worse than a flashy square.

My theory about Paris's stance is that she suffers from a slight incontinence problem. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

HOW does Jen A stay so slender with all that pot smoking? Anyone!?

Paris? Really?

What a visual hiccup: a gallery of pretty pretty celebs and then whammo! Wonky-Eye!

No more, please.