Jezebel
Just how many blondes are there on the show Heroes? And how many of them have been on the cover of Cosmopolitan over the past year? I don't know the answer to that first question — I've never watched the show — but as to the second, the answer is, three. (Someone at NBC primetime publicity is giving his/her bosses their money's worth.) In October, we saw Ali Larter; in April there was Hayden Panettiere; and now, come May, we've got Kristen Bell. The 28-year-old actress, like her predecessors, is not only subject to a short cover profile but the magazine's 'Cosmo Quiz', in which she fills out a questionnaire about her likes and dislikes... and gives us a reason have her handwriting analyzed by graphologist Sheila Kurtz. So how does Kristen come off? The short answer: she's extremely protective, ambitious, intuitive and decent. As for the long answer, well, all that's after the jump.
This writer may be a public personality, but this sample is block printed, the variety of handwriting that tries to keep people from gathering much revealing information from it. (Cursive reveals much more.) Block printing is the choice of ransom note writers for that reason. This writer is very reluctant to allow others to know her until she knows them rather well first.Sheila Kurtz [Graphology Consulting]Furthermore, there are no loops on y's, an indication of a person who may seem to enjoy the company of others, but is very happy, thank you, to be all alone.
The swollen "d" forms signal a person who is acutely conscious of self, and can be wounded by destructive criticism.
Add to this an occasional slant to the left, a sign of one who represses emotions. Mostly the writing is vertical, which indicate a lack of impulsiveness. This writer thinks first, and then takes an action. The straight down-stroke of the y's indicates the determination to make an action succeed.
The bars that cross the "t" stem are placed at the top of the stem, the indication of a person who ambitiously stretches to reach a treetop tall goal. The bars are also heavy, which signals that the writer has the drive (gumption) actually to reach the treetops.
There are umbrella-shaped t bars that indicate extra portions of self-control. The block printing makes it difficult to figure out what the writer has developed controls over. The usual reason to develop such hyper-control is to stifle a recurrent fear, such as stage-fright.
The tops of the "m" forms come very close to needle-points, the sign of a very speedy thinker. Add to this a well developed "gut" intuition that skips over the usual steps of logic to get to trusted conclusions. Intuition accelerates the thinking process and allows the writer to get a handle on other people without much delay. Although some of the answers in this sample may seem dumb, the writer isn't. Some rounded "m" tops indicate that the writer can also be methodical (when absolutely necessary) and there are "V" formation in the m's and n's that signal an analytical mind that will take the time to figure out what's actually what.
Fairly strong final endings to words indicate an ability to make decisions and short t stems signal an independent thinker who makes up her own mind from information she selects.
Clean o's (the middles are without marks or blotches) are a sign of good integrity. The writer lives in the "real" world and abides by most of its rules in a way that is not secretive or devious.
There is what graphologists call a "conscious gesture" —- in this case the z's in "quizzed" are crossed. The writer has either grown up in a European-based country or has adopted the crossed-z as a kind of educated stylistic embellishment.
Bell Of The Ball [Cosmopolitan]
Earlier: Dea Cosmo Girl Hayden "Heroes" Panettiere: "Better To Be The Turtle Than The Hare"
•Cosmo Girl Rihanna: "Solitary & Self-Involved"
•Decoding Cosmo Cover Girl Katie Heigl: "She Refuses To Waste Time With Convoluted Crap"
•Cosmo Girl Hilary Duff: Intuitive, Practical And Younger Than She Looks
•Cosmo Girl Beyonce Knowles: Detail-Oriented, Thoughtful, Possibly Power-Hungry
•'Cosmo' Cover Girl Ali Larter: Self-Involved, Stubborn, Easily Distracted
Comments
I don't use block letters for ransom notes. I cut random letters out of magazines like everyone else.
Interesting. However I don't know Kristen Bell so I have no idea whether this is total bull or not.
I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Veronica but Kristen herself hasn't made any impressive choices lately.
kristen bell, you will forever be veronica mars in my heart. you will do no wrong, and i will always aspire to be as badass as you were. this, i promise you.
Dude- she bug-f'in nuts. I have so much new respect for her.
1. "The Patch Adams of the Veterinary World".
2. Things with eyes staring at her.
3. She wants to taser people.
Where on that paper does it say "quizzed"? Am I blind?
A swollen "D"? I had a swollen D once and it took months to go away.
I went to college with her. She very cute and super sweet and VERY SMALL.
I know that she's from Detroit from a Polish Family maybe that's with the euro Z. I do that too, also on my sevens.
So, one of her nicknames is "bobcat," yet she loves bobcat for writing her a poem? Was the present from herself? Apparently she already possesses multiplicity, as she has at least two identities.
this sample is block printed, the variety of handwriting that tries to keep people from gathering much revealing information from it
Excellent. I don't people to read too much into my "GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND HELP ME" notes that I often leave for people in my characteristic block handwriting. Better that they wonder.
Hmm... I cross my z's, so I'm a snob?
@stoprobbers: Yeah, the only "Z" I see is in "Zap people with electricity," and it doesn't have a line through it.
I started crossing my z's when I had to use "z" as a variable in math. I always thought they were 2's. So maybe she is a mathematician!
That being said, who casually writes in all-capital letters?
COZMO IS NOT TEH INTERWEBS, KRISTEN.
@gringuitico: OH MY GOD YOU KNOW HER. I WANT TO BE YOU.
sorry. i have a touch of the fangirl when it comes to v mars.
Is it just me or did she just describe V. Mars? I KNEW THEY WERE REALLY THE SAME PERSON! And I love her even more for that.
Also, I read: "Bobcat - for ransom reasons!"
spooky.
Does any1 really use txt-syntax 4 writing n longhand?
Othr than 3rd gr8ers?
Comments! Don't you run away from me!
Also, I am kinda afraid to ever get my handwriting analyzed lest I be called out on how emotionally batshit crazy I am.
@Patsy_Stone: If it lasts longer than 4 hours, you should go to the nearest hospital and contact your doctor.
Kristen Bell can kidnap me anytime.
@Roomba: I totally do. It may be because my regular writing was always impossible to read, or it may be because I LIKE PEOPLE TO THINK I AM ALWAYS YELLING.
@Roomba: Actually, I casually write in all caps. When I print, it is in all caps. It's just easier to read. But I am an open book, none of this not wanting folks to know things about me. So, I call shenanigans.
My handwriting has been described by close friends as "serial killer writing", and yet I cross my z's and 7's and 0's. Does this mean I am a pan-European homicidal maniac?
And I know picking on Cosmo for photoshopping is easy prey, but jesus, I think they just got lazy with this. It's either angle at which her face is shot, or the post-shoot addition of some chesty enhancements to the photo, but either way, it would've taken me several minutes of study to figure out who the generic blonde on the cover is without aid.
Seriously? I've never clicked on this feature before, but my ardent KBell love made me. Do we buy this handwriting analysis stuff? Maybe she wrote in block caps so people would be sure to be able to read her handwriting. That's why drafters write in block caps. I write in block caps for that reason.
I'm not saying that swollen D's can't reveal profound things about people's characters, but I'm pretty skeptical.
She came in to meet with my boss and was the sweetest actress I've ever met. I was expecting snobbiness but she was gracious and friendly and totally surprised me. Also she talked about how she used to have Sea Monkeys and all they did was have sex all the time. Then she sent my boss a sea monkey kit to grow our own. I have to feed them every day and when I do I think of the lovely KBell.
@blackbirdfly: Make a lot of them do you?
@blackbirdfly: Always with tweezers and surgical gloves. I like to recreate The Bodyguard whenever possible. Next date I go on I'll be slicing my scarf in half on a saber.
@NefariousNewt: Ransom notes are the new black
@AbbyNormal: Shhhhhhhh!! One of them may be reading Jezebel!!
Kristin Bell was the main reason I went and saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as I deeply love my Veronica Mars DVDs. I loved that she went along with the part where the guys rips on the movie Sarah Marshall was in where the cell phones kill people, seeing as how K.Bell actually did make that movie.
@FourInchHeels: GIVE US $50,000 OR THE MANOLOS GET IT!
I cross the z's and the 7's because my handwriting is terrible, so they look like 2's and 1's. People still ask me what they are, but at least I know.
@Roomba: @MissusTufnel: @SouthernSatine: @Scoregasm and anyone else I missed:
I TOTALLY WRITE IN BLOCK CAPS TOO.
I decided to start doing it when I was about 10 and I was convinced that I wanted to be a comicbook artist, so I also had to be a really good letterer.
This was back in dinosaur times, though, before I'd heard of a thing called "fonts".
@Roomba: I used to write in all caps one summer. I did alot of fill-it-in and for some reason I hated that some of the words have upper and lower cases in them.
I too cross my z's but I don't know why.
@NefariousNewt: Please tell me you're using the royal 'we' ... it will make my entire day
@FourInchHeels: Was their ever a more interesting pairing in a movie than Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner?
@NefariousNewt: I wouldn't say "a lot."
Why is her head so large and her body so small in this pic? She has been photoshopped out of all normal human proportions.
@FourInchHeels: You have found me out...
@tscheese: I write almost always in block caps, except for certain letters, like h's a's.
And my e's are always little epsilons. My handwriting is schizophrenic.
Love her for finally allowing me to use the word "spunky" without dirty connotations.
@gringuitico: Were you at CAP21? I went to Atlantic, but my roommate was a CAP girl!
@tscheese: I tried that for a summer when I worked around a bunch of architects. I got jealous of their kickass stylized block letters and stole and photocopied notes they wrote to themselves so I could practice my sweet handwriting. I only managed to pick up the numbers, I can't make my letters look like that ... but at least I write my numbers awesomely?
@NefariousNewt: Oh! I'm gonna hide behind this mask with 1,000 googly eyes. She'll never find me.
@Patsy_Stone: I got swollen d's. Heh heh. Oh, wait.
@tscheese: I write in printing as opposed to cursice, because in 4th grade my teacher told me my cursive was lousy and I'd better learn to print or no one will be able to read what I wrote. So to spite her (she was a witch, I'm sure), I learned to do both very well.
@NefariousNewt: I would certainly argue no. Who doesn't love a spoiled diva and a reticent watcher-over coming together at the point of a knife?
I'm glad to hear that it was the royal 'we.' I'm quite sad that the use of it has really fallen out of favor. Let's bring it back, shall we?
@SouthernSatine: I use caps when filling out forms usually. Much easier to read. Unless of course it's my taxes -- then I smear everything except the amount of my refund.
@Patsy_Stone: I think you're supposed to seek medical attention after 6 hours.
I am still holding out that maybe the asshats that cancelled VM will get some brains and put it back on. Or at least some other station will pick it up. I can hope, can't I?
@FourInchHeels: I love the royal we...
@FourInchHeels: We shall, we shall, for all will tremble before our might. Sorry... got carried away.
@KittensMcgee: And for some strange reason, History of the World, Part 1 has popped into my head: "Piss boy, bring me my bucket!"
I need more sleep.