For years now, Moscow's clubbers have suffered under the harsh authoritarian rule of Pasha Face-Kontrol, who lords over Moscow's elite clubbing scene with all of the arbitrariness and cruelty of a Byzantine despot. Er, that is, a very metrosexual Byzantine despot. Meet Pasha Face Kontrol, a Russian nightclub doorman who has become the sort of celebrity I would totally hate on principle if it were in America but because he's safely in Moscow and I don't have to know about him from the same sources that brought me Moment of Truth, I'm totally obsessed. Pasha was a doorman at a club called Diaglev Project who came to notoriety via his rigorous standards for "Face Kontrol" — what it sounds like, duh — had several techno songs dedicated to him and turned one local clubgoer Alyona "Barbie" into folk hero for scratching him in the face. Then the club burned down. A reality show could be the only possible next move...

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