Jezebel
"Brace yourself for a shock, theatergoers. There's no delicate way of putting this. 'Cry-Baby,' the latest Broadway musical based on a John Waters movie, is... tasteless. Why aren't you shocked? Oh, I see. You thought that I meant the show that opened last night at the Marquis Theater was in bad taste....When I said 'tasteless,' I meant without flavor: sweet, sour, salty, putrid or otherwise. This show in search of an identity has all the saliva-stirring properties of week-old pre-chewed gum. (Not to be tasteless.)" So writes New York Times critic Ben Brantley in today's paper, reviewing Cry-Baby: The Musical, the latest movie-turned-musical from John Waters. Oh well. At least the opening gave us some goodies! On hand last night were John Waters, Debbie Harry, David Byrne, Cindy Sherman, Kathleen Turner, Adam Duritz, Ricki Lake, Chris March and... Rocco DiSpirito. The full Good, Bad and Ugly of the opening of Cry-Baby: The Musical after the jump.
The Good:
I can't really explain my love for Adam Duritz. Or for his insane suit.
Chris March gets points in my book anytime he's not wearing an outfit trimmed in human hair.
1) OMG it's David Byrne! 2) OMG it's Cindy Sherman...in Prada.
In the spirit of John Waters, I love Kathleen Turner's tacky suit.
The Bad:
I so badly want to get my hands on Debbie Harry and give her a head-to-toe makeover. Girlfriend needs to learn about Rodarte. Or Chris Benz, even! Why is she wearing such weirdly dated looks and not seeking out the best of intellectual fashion? End rant.
I want to grow up to be a crazy cat lady just Estelle Parsons.
This is not the right dress for Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky.
Dear Ricki Lake: It's not nice to steal clothes off of drag queen's backs.
Rocco DiSpirito: Looking more and more like Siegfried and Roy's lost brother every day.
The Ugly:
OK, I think John Waters looks awesome. But we all know he would be insulted if he weren't placed in this category.
[Images via Getty.]
Comments
I'm sorry but the whole lot was just a catalogue of fug IMO. Except for John Waters because I think he owns that look pretty much.
Apparently, I have been living under a rock because I didn't know "Cry-Baby" would be a musical. I love that movie and get made fun of because of it...ashamed? Hell no!
Chris March cannot wear anything other than animal print. For some reason, he makes it look fabulous. Debbie Harry? Kind of looks insane.
OOgh. That's a hell of a review.
Cindy Sherman's outfit looks like PJs, Prada or not.
Have I shared my story about eating dinner in a restaurant in LA with my aunt when I was 15 and how Traci Lords came over and sat on my lap? Well, it was awesome.
@virtualcatlady (formerlycuteasabutton): i agree, all clothes pictured above were pretty fug.
Yay Chris March!
Boo Chris March- his outfit is boring. He can do better!
I can't describe how much I love John Waters. Especially when he was on Graham Norton's show during its tragically brief run on Comedy Central.
However, I do not like musicals. I like movies. Dear John: More movies, less musicals. Love, Emily P.S. I love you.
I saw John Waters at the Whitney last year and for some reason it totally made my day. I'm still perplexed as to why that happened.
I was hoping Johnny Depp would be there with Hatchetface as his date :(
I have that same jacket that john waters is wearing. no joke. we are both awesome.
and cindy sherman, david byrne and debbie harry? love them love them love them.
david byrne is ridiculously handsome.
my love for old-school counting crows (aka the songs written when he's clearly off his anti-depressants) knows no bounds, but i finally saw them in concert last summer and man-- adam duritz is obnoxious. he's very into the *i'm depressed and therefore artistic* school of thought.
nikki's awesome. go chris march! david byrne!
debbie harry's outfit looks better on someone under the age of 30.
why is kathleen turner hiding those to-die-for-legs in a suit?!?!
why do i have the hots for rocco? he needs a far better outfit, but if he flashed those smiling dimples at me i'd probably go for it.
ricki ate all that pre-made diet food made by chefs, said she exercised by "hiking" (insert eye roll here) and posed in a bikini but shows up to the premiere in a long shapeless column?!?!?!
@KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: It's because in a past life he was that gigantic cat laying in the sun all day long in your neighbors window who you will forever be insanely jealous of.
Nikki Blonsky's not that bad, but it is the only thing that does not scream BAD or UGLY to me, I thought comedians were able to dress themselves, obviously some people need stylist stat!
My favorite John Waters quote is that he will always be grateful for being raised Catholic because sex will always be dirty.
I always confuse David Byrne with David Lynch, for some reason. Maybe the hair?
How great would it be if they made "A Dirty Shame" into a musical?
I would swap a kidney and a lung to be friends with David Byrne and Cindy Sherman... and maybe an arm
Well, I think Debbie Harry's outfit is retro fab. Maybe it's just because I have a very similar outfit and get compliments every time I wear it.
cry baby was the first john waters movie i ever saw and it inspired a life long jw obsession!
"our bahzooms are our weapons!"
why oh why must they mutilate all these Waters classics? First my beloved Hairspray, and now this. What's next? Pink Flamingos the musical - where Nathan Lane eats dogs shit to the song "crap is Divine"?
Thank god Patrick McGoohan finally escaped The Village.
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@katastic: I like it. It's snarky.
Kathleen Turner has inspired me to take up smoking and go batshit.
Everything about this is horrible. Save the presence of John Waters himself just because his unabashed willingness to be insane inspires me. Other than that, the clothes are all awful. Also awful, the premise of turning Cry Baby into a musical. Blasphemy!
@rednrowdy: totally with you on the rocco thing. he looks slightly david walliams-y in the pic, which i think makes me like him even more.
@es-ki-mo: sorry, DOG shit. I'm all riled up here.
Nikki Blonsky's dress reminds of a french made Halloween costume. But not one by 'Leg Avenue' or else it would be like a belt not and actual dress.@KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: there's no shame in the love of Cry Baby! Me and my friends watched it like over and over...
David Byrne & Cindy Sherman are a couple!!! Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!!
Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!
@allet: it is so wrong. i'm sure he is a complete douche IRL, but that smile of his....yowza. like, hot-butter-on-a-sex-biscuit good.
What's with movies becoming musicals, anyway? Hairspray, Dirty Dancing and now Cry-Baby?
@stacyinbean: What?? That is sooo awesome. And surreal. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that kind of awesomeness at 15.
I had such a crush on David Byrne when I was young. I still do, and he totally looks great.
David Byrne is the epitome of sexy to me.
and you're totally right about JW being insulted for not being in that category. I literally applauded! As you can see by my avatar - BIG fan.
John Waters' (now drawn-on) little mustache is the most awesome creepstache ever.
@badmutha: i saw him a couple of months ago and MAN did he take my breath away.
@SheCracked: I think she looks hot, too. But then I also think that is the right dress for Nikki Blonsky, so maybe my opinions should be taken with a pinch of Maldon salt crystals.
God I love David Byrne. That is all.
Finally, the world knows: Chris March is a shaver! (hanky!) (haha, lol, etc.)
I love John Waters and everything he stands for. That is all.
My love for John Waters has been cemented ever since I attended an entertainment convention where he talked about anallingus in front of a room of stuck-up administrators.
@PetiteGal: Don't forget Grey Gardens (srsly, wtf?)
The tears, they are a-starting for when Zac Efron or Josh Bell gets cast as the lead in the even crappier movie version of the musical that was once one of my favorite movies. Sigh.
@es-ki-mo: Bring on the rage! I suspect that the next musical will be Pecker, and there will be a big production number called, "Hey, No Teabagging!"
@ineffable.me:Seroiously!? He is the anti-Keith Richards, with his smooth beautiful skin and wiry frame. Rooowwrr!
@PetiteGal: Ha ha, like Hollywood, Broadway is (with a few notable exceptions...*cough*August Osage County*cough*) out of ideas.
Cindy Sherman looks really fantastic!
Adam Duritz looks like Luciano Pavarotti dressed up as PeeWee Herman. But maybe only because his Sideshow Bob dreads are fading into the shadows.
@ccchild: I seem to remember reading an interview with David Byrne saying he actually prefers sex with a condom because it feels better to him...love that!
But not as much as I love Cindy Sherman's orange bag...
speaking of "divine" and how much i loved her - i have two plastic pink flamingos that she signed for me. i'll always love jw for bringing her to the movies and letting me experience "pink flamingos" in all it's glory!