This month's Esquire cover profile of Jessica Simpson is so awesome I had to excerpt it for you. Writer Lisa Taddeo, who was also notably responsible for last month's Heath Ledger fan fiction, is clearly determined to outdo all other pants-creamingly overwrought Esquire celebrity profiles and the result is a single page so hyperbolically, preposterously Esquire it pulls off in a single page what Tom Junod would need 10,000 words to achieve, starting with a preamble about her "hair like Clorox sunshine" and "breasts like plucked guinea hens, undercooked and overstuffed." Click the pic for more brilliant celebrity vaguiography. (Also, how Tyra is the way Esquire constantly remakes its "iconic" photos of years past?)
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