A not-so-shocking prediction: Sex and the City: The Movie is going to be as much (if not more) about shilling expensive shit as it is about sex. In addition to the myriad of product placement opportunities it affords mainstream marketers, the film has inspired a new collection of Cosabella lingerie said to be designed around each one of the HBO series' main characters. Thing is, I see no connection between the creations and the SATC ladies; in fact, of all of them, the "Samantha" collection is the most sophisticated and tasteful of the bunch. After the jump, let's get stupid and play the "which SATC character are you" game with a batch of undergarments!



Carrie
They say: "Carrie is carefree and fabulous with a truly romantic take on love and life. The eclectic Carrie Collection features floral print with animal print trim... [It] mixes hip, downtown style with vintage appeal. You can even pair it with your favorite jeans."

L to R: Carrie Collection, Betty Low Rise Thong, $36; Carrie Collection, Betty Bustier, $162.00; Carrie Collection, Betty Push-Up Bra, $86

I say: Does "carefree", "fabulous", and "romantic" mean "tacky", "cheap", and "downright mismatched"? Also, is anyone else amused that this line is the most expensive of the bunch?


Samantha
They Say: "The Samantha Collection is très sexy & unapologetically racy (just like its namesake). Featuring French Chantilly lace in a fabulously bold, expressive color, this bra is not one to be ignored."

L to R: Samantha Collection, Pearl Underwire Bra, $76; Samantha Collection, Pearl Garter Belt, $55; Samantha Collection, Pearl Low Rise Thong, $33

I say: "Racy"? Maybe to a nun. This collection is the only classy and sophisticated one of the bunch. (Unrelated: why does the Samantha bra cost $10 less than the Carrie bra?)


Charlotte
They Say: "Über feminine, the Charlotte Collection features eco-friendly bamboo fiber. Charlotte is all about classic elegance. She always wears a perfectly chic ensemble that incorporates her style, beauty and quiet confidence."

L to R: Charlotte Collection, Bamboo Camisole, $80; Charlotte Collection, Bamboo Long Pants, $100; Charlotte Collection, Bamboo Low Rise Thong, $22

I say: This stuff looks like it came straight off the racks at K-Mart. Charlotte York MacDougal Goldenblatt probably doesn't even know what a K-Mart is.


Miranda
They Say: "The cosmopolitan Miranda Collection includes this bold, color block bra with lace trim. Feeling like a confident, independent woman? You're probably a 'Miranda.'"

L to R: Miranda Collection, Rosangel Low Rise Hotpants, $50; Miranda Collection, Rosangel Molded Bra, $62

I say: Why does Miranda get fewer items than the other ladies in this collection?. Also: of course they put her in a boy short. Of course.


Sex And The City Lingerie [Outblush]
Earlier: Sex And The City Really Is Full Of Expensive Shit