• Lindsay Lohan: Protective of lady love Samantha Ronson. A source says "Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [NYC hotspot Beatrice Inn], and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'" [Page Six]
  
• And don't forget! Even though LL was in AA, she downed vodka cocktails all night. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Here's how Lindsay looked on her way home: Drunk. [ONTD]
  
• Ali Lohan will make her screen debut in Mostly Ghostly, a flick based on an R.L. Stine book. She'll play a "popular high school senior." A mean girl maybe? [People]
  
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson celebrated her 18th birthday by flashing her see-through underwear to paparazzi. [Page Six]

• Whitney Houston attended a boxing match in Las Vegas Saturday night and was "practically carried in by her staff." Plus, her people "snapped their fingers, saying 'Whitney needs a waitress!'" Once a diva, always a diva. [Page Six]
• Heiress/model Lydia Hearst: Joining the cast of Gossip Girl? OMFG. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again?" [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden last week. Tattoos, flat-ironed hair and skinny jeans unite! [E!]
• Suri Cruise turned 2 on April 18 and her party was low-key: Coloring, cake, bowling. [MSNBC]
• Connor Cruise, the Tom and Nicole kid you never hear about, will make his film debut in an upcoming Will Smith movie. Connor will play a young version of Will and allegedly had to audition, even though Tom and Will are buddies. Well, he got the part, praise Xenu. [People]
• Dave Chappelle's former manager is suing him for 10% of the cash Dave's made since he fired the guy in 2005. Mo money, mo problems. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was in the hospital over the weekend because stitches above his eye opened up and he was bleeding. America's got sutures. [TMZ]
• Jordin Sparks had "acute vocal cord hemorrhage" this weekend, igniting rumors that she'd never sing again. Even though she's canceled a bunch of tour dates, she should be back on the road in May. [TMZ]
• Gail O'Grady of NYPD Blue owes Caesars Palace $160,000 and Bally's $75,000 in gambling debts. What happens in Vegas stays on your credit report. [TMZ]
• Kanye West's former fiancée is "sad" about their broken engagement, but Alexis Phifer says, "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met." [People]
• Ewan McGregor had a skin cancer scare and had some moles removed. "I went to have them checked because you have to be careful if you are pale skinned with moles and you spend time in the sun." [Mirror]
• In attendance at Victoria Beckham's birthday party Saturday night: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Will Smith, Gavin Rossdale, Usher and Elton John. [The Sun]
• Terrence "baby wipes" Howard hosted a listening session for his debut album yesterday. Yeah, he sings. He began writing songs at age 16 in his "rainbow colored notebook." The album has a jazzy, big band feel but no word if there are any songs about the "serious problem" of women being unclean. [People]
• Platinum country music artist Taylor Swift went to her senior prom Saturday night. Her date was chosen from 50 applicants via MTV but Taylor says "He was unbelievably sweet." [People]
• Supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger Jerry Hall is revealing that growing up, her father was violent, physically and verbally abusive. [Mirror]
• Antonia Kidman, sister of Nicole, won the Favorite Female Personality prize at an Australian TV awards show. She hosts a program called From Here To Maternity. [News.com.au]
• Thirteen year old Lourdes Ciccone Leon wants to live in New York with daddy Carlos. Haha. Will Madonna's seamy New York past live again, through her daughter? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, Madonna's new single went to No. 1 on both sides of the Atlantic and the headline of this story is: "Madonna: More Clout Than The Beatles, All By Herself... And Wearing Heels." [Times]
• David Blaine is in training to break the world record for breath-holding. BTW, he's not just a magician, he's an "endurance artist." So. [NY Times]
• Did Heather Mills lie about having a sad childhood? [The Sun]
• A Wendy Williams talk show? Sounds crazy, in a good way. [Variety]
• "I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." — Erykah Badu. [Perez Hilton]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.