Jezebel

Well girls, unless you are a lesbian, you are not supposed to participate in sports. I thought that was a given by now.

Her ass is gonna get cold on that snow.

Snowboarding, skateboarding--it'll always be a boy's club. I tried breaking in but got tired. For the record, the boys who buy that shit don't actually like girls who snowboard or skateboard--they'd rather have them naked on their board then on their street or mountain.

Which side is up? Are you standing on, and looking at the girl, or is that for when you do wicked tricks and you are instead standing on the ass? I am confused.

This is great. It'll be helpful in determining which snowboarders you should REALLY stay away from.

If they said "S*X" they'd sell more. Sheesh, Holly, what were you thinking??

(forgive the editing, work server)

also... LOVE...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I hope girls/women who snowboard boycott Burton for this shit. Gotta love being a woman trying to break into a male-dominated sport.

As if women who snowboard don't get enough shit as it is. This makes me want to loose the board and learn to ski!

Also, are we sure this is not a hoax? The pics just look so 80s.

Okay, I've religiously ridden Burtons since I learned to board about 10 years ago.

I will now be purchasing an Arbor board. Thanks, Jake.

So they get to hump their way down the mountain?

Riding the white waves?

@Rebecca: But it's not just about sex! It's clearly about love. Butt love.

The disembodied ass cheeks are making me a little uncomfortable, especially the first one, where she's all bent over. What exactly are they meant to do with the boards?

Between the pot and looking down at an ass, how on earth are the snowboarders going to stay on the boards?

Tennis Ho's and Snowboarding Bro's? Theme party idea anyone? It's not fun unless he's fully clothed in baggy pants and goggles and you're half naked!

/sarcasm, although I do love theme parties.

I am so confused. Why the hell do they have a nakie tennis player on one of the boards? What does tennis have to do with snowboarding? So confused.

LOVE IS...a bare disembodied ass, apparently. Thanks Burton!

@GTCosita: Yeah that tennis one? So eighties. Is that a plastic sun visor? I used to have one of those. With my name on it written in paint marker.

If I can get a board with naked hunks, I'm down. Fair is only fair Burton!

@blackbirdfly (AKA Mrs. Firth): What about her sneakers? That's why I'm hoping this is all a big joke.

This pisses me off. I have always loved burtons products and designs, and I do infact snowboard with my husband. He would never buy this, and now i'm really annoyed with burton. Thanks for making it harder on women who try every day to be part of the "boys club"

@AuntieBee:

The full body pictures are the top, the ass shots are the bottom (hehe--meaning the side hitting the snow). You can see the little holes to screw in the bindings on the top side.

And I'm officially turning in my Burton and getting a new board.

@ceejeemcbeegee:

Please. The "girl" ones will just be pink or some shit.

@ineffable.me: Or play the guitar.

cheesy promo video coming to a YouTube link near you:

"c'mon, baby, you know you wanna ride me"

Next up, a feature on 'Why more girls don't take up snowboarding.' Perhaps their hormones/genitals steer them towards skiing? The phallic shape of the board? It's a myyyysteryyyy!

@blackbirdfly (AKA Mrs. Firth): Also, why is the tennis ball pink?

I want a snowboard in the shape of a giant penis, with a matching graphic on both the bottom and top.

I mean, it's almost phallic shaped already, so why not?

@nowimpissed: Can I have it, I'm poors.

the girl ones have puppies and kittens on them.

This makes me want to turn in my skis for a board (non-burton, of course) out of spite.

i seriously want the one on the right.

@GTCosita: sadly no, I checked it out. Am seriously wishing I could cancel my Burton order for next year. But I still loves my Night Bright suit. GARRRGH! What's a girl to do who loves a sport that's such a sausage fest.

Are these pics from 1987 or something? Anyhow, these images are way better than the old Bitch-brand skateboards.

Fantastic! Now the next time my 10 year old nephew goes snowboarding he can see a bunch of softcore on the slopes!
Why must everything be sexualized? I am all for raising kids with a healthy attitude towards sex, but it's hard to do when everytime you look around people are finding a new way to slap a picture of a naked girl in your face.

Oh god. Men are disgusting. Apparently there is only one type of woman who is at all desireable. Makes me glad I'm old.

Insert joke here and click on picture for larger image.

...that's what SHE said!!

Hmm, I hope whoever skiis will vandalize these pieces of shit.

I know some lesbians who might buy this...

Hn.

They'll wipe out if all they do is look down!

Having a boner and they hitting cold, cold snow is probably kind of uncomfortable.

Episode 6, season 3 of the Girls Next Door (called Snowboarded) has the 3 current Hugh Hefner girlfriends getting totally outfitted for snowboarding in Burton gear. Bridget (the middle girlfriend) says she has "connections" with Burton.

I don't understand the images either, but maybe they are going for a retro look.

Yes, I am a reality show junkie.

@nowimpissed: Word. When I went shopping for my first board, one guy said, "we have some nice ones here... and they are pink with flowers..."

I dunno. Skateboarding's been doing the nakey ladies for years and years. Though typically in the tongue-in-cheek. But I do really like the one of the left, its goofy.

please dont shoot me, but i think its a cute concept, although the design is so yechh. i would totally hit the bunny slopes with one of these if they came out with some cuter designs.

Goddamnit Burton, stop being assholes.

@nowimpissed: The ones they made for the ladies on GND were pretty darn cute, espech Bridget's... but you're right, for average consumers, they'll probably be pink and swirly.

Now, if someone made a Hello Kitty snowboard, I'd be all over that shit.