WHAT is the obsession with the Daily Hate Mail? It's a complete rag, and every time you use an article from them for 'discussion purposes', you're just letting yourselves down. It's lazy.

whatever, my dad not only was AT all 4 our natural childbirths, he was standing video camera in hand to capture all the gooey fun.

if any part of childbirth made him a little insane it's been the last 25 years raising 4 kids.

Well, you know, plenty of men have watched child birth and not "turned" mentally ill. So....er....whatever.

Personally, I'd like my partner there because I become distracted to easily and I need help focusing.

Try saying "Dr. Odent" out loud. It gave me a little giggle.

My wife wanted me there, to keep from being badgered. I held her hand the whole time the C-section was being performed. Originally they weren't going to let me in, but my wife wouldn't hear of it and they backed down. I did everything I could to reassure her that things were going fine. I have to say the staff was not very friendly, but that didn't stop it from being one of the highlights of my life.

OH FOR THE FUCK OF SHIT
what is this malarky
if men are so fucking strong and powerful and blah blah blah then they should be able to handle WITNESSING a birth.

A labouring woman needs to be protected against any stimulation of the thinking part of her brain - the neocortex - for labour to proceed with any degree of ease

DISCONNECT THEM MINDS, ya birthin' vessels! Everybody knows a lady is just basically a uterus with legs. So you just rest your pretty head and don't think about a blessed thing! Just procreate! That's the only reason us women are here on earth, right? To shoot out babies left and right? And let the mensfolks do all that hard book-larnin' and thinkin'?

Oh and the pain of a migraine is so much worse than pushing an 8 pound kid out of a vag.

Spine up, dudes.

Wow. So does that mean all obstetricians should be women? We wouldn't want any of the men doctors to be damaged by the childbirth experience.

Poor guys. It must be really difficult to have to witness someone else push a human out of her body.

GaaaahhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Running at computer with knife in hand.)

Women...shouldn't...think. In childbirth.

Why do I think the rest of that sentence is "...or ever"?

@Jerseylicious: Right? He completely sounds like a Muppet.

We must protect the poor widdle boys while we squeeze a new life form out of our vagina, performing the miracle of life. Of course, our first priority should be to make sure that nothing upsets the men. Duh.

this makes me so stabby. Male postnatal depression is legit, but the jury is still out on female postantal depression? And I thought that the men who can't deal go out and get drunk for a day or two, like the father from a Tree Grows in Brooklyn

@SleeplessNights: The Guardian is also quoted in this post. And I think it's somewhat lazy to blow off an opportunity for a real discussion, regardless of the inanity of the source.

SERIOUSLY?? C'mon. I know we have issues with sexism but now they're blaming VAGINAS for mental breakdowns. Man up, boys! Grow a sack!

The only thing I worry about with having the guy there is he'll pass out. I luff my boyfriend, but he's kinda squeamish.

Ha le K de K, that was just what I was thinking, as if having kids, as in rasing them, doesn't make one insane.

My husband saved our second child's life, so I am really glad he decided to risk all these ailments and be there for us.

if he's mentally healthy enough to be there at conception, why isn't he sane enough to be there at delivery?

And what is with the continual striving to set the bar for men as low as possible?

Men? Doesn't this just piss you the hell off? Don't you want to say, "HEY! Men aren't helpless little flowers, and we are SICK of being treated as if we can't even match our own damn socks!" *sob*

Or, y'know... something like that.

So, isn't he answer to tell your babydaddy to refrain from asking questions? I mean, throwing him out of the room seems a bit drastic.

And I imagine male post-natal depression has little to do with the child birth experience, and far more to do with the, "Oh crap, I will never have full control over my life again" experience. And for men, this shocking realization tends to come once the bundle of joy is out of the womb and in his arms, whereas women are forced to face that brutal reality about 9 months sooner.

If you put it in me, you will be there to suffer along with me when it comes out. Period.

I can see it being really annoying for a husband to be like, "Oh, what's it like? How do you feel? Do you need anything?"

In its mild form, men often take to their bed in the week following the birth, complaining of everything from a stomach ache or migraine

This isn't mental illness, this is pre-baby babies that are now jealous, and upset that they may actually have to do something by themselves, for themselves. I'm pretty sure they were asshats beforehand, so let's not blame baby, 'kay.

@SleeplessNights: They are so ridiculous it's hilarious. How are the editors letting themselves down? That doesn't even make sense.

@JessicaLovejoy: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!: Yeah, grow a pair. Jesus.

This reminds me of a Chuck Palahniuk book about a cult. I think they made all the young boys celibate by making them watch their mothers give birth or something, and then they repressed the memory.

I can understand a guy not wanting the doctor's view, but they should be able to handle being in the room.

'A woman in labour needs to be in a private world where she doesn't have to think or talk.'

Weird, I clearly remember both thinking AND talking to the midwives during my deliveries. Didn't realize I was meant to be in a trance.

Man, I meant to send this story to you guys this morning. It's total bullshit. My Dad was present at the births of all four of us, and saved my mom's life when one of my brothers was born (he's a doc). I can't imagine my husband waiting outside when we have a kid. And I can't imagine him seeing me in an unsexy light after I give birth to our child.

Dr. Odent needs a beatdown. Brass knuckles to the Ob/Gyn ward, STAT.

Gott im Himmel! Somebody has teh ISSUES!

that said, I guess it doesn't totally surprise me that fatherhood might cause some intense feelings, just as motherhood does. Parenting is a BIG step! Post-partum counseling for both parents should be part of the package. Ease the transition, nescafe? (but I don't see it being about the delivery per se, that's just freakout misogyny)

If a man cannot handle watching his child's birth, he probably can't handle, y'know, FATHERHOOD.

My dad and I were talking about that scene (you know, THAT SCENE) in "Knocked Up" and he was cracking up that I was freaked out by it. "I've seen that twice. In person."

Yes, dad, but you don't have the parts. It looks scary and painful.

@braak: A simple roar of, 'You did this to me!!!' will quiet his questions right down.

wah, wah, women actually have to GIVE birth, not just stand there and witness it and most of us don't lose our shit from the sheer horror of pushing something huge out of our vag. It's officially time to lay "Be a man, grow some balls" to rest and replace it with "C,mon be a woman. Grow some ovaries!"

@harddriver: Ack, isn't saving the baby what the professionals are for? What, were they taking a smoke break or something?

If I were your husband, I would hold that over the kid's head forever. "No, you can't stay out past 12, I saved your life when you were being born!"

"And in the most graphic example, one perfectly healthy man had his first experience of schizophrenia two days after watching his wife give birth. Was this his way of escaping reality?"

Could be, though that seems highly unlikely. Schizophrenia is one of those illnesses that can seemingly suddenly appear, so a situation like this isn't unheard of.

@JennaW: My boyfriend says that sometimes. He HATES when I start hating on men in general (which I have a bad habit of). But, low and behold, we got all the way to Tennessee for his friend's wedding last week before he realized that he had packed mismatching socks. Seriously. We had to go out and buy socks.

@braak: But you could just say, "Honey, I love you, but shut the fuck up" and the problem is solved. I mean, it's not like most women give birth in a vacuum, there's all kinds of sensory input going on to be a distraction. Unless you have a silent birth like Katie.

Maybe Dr. Odent is a Scientologist. It would explain this foolishness. Don't they advocate for silence, no disruptions, etc...?

What an asshole.

Dr. Odent continued, "In fact, for a truly happy home, the mother should continue not to think or talk unless in the event of an emergency. Then she alert her husband as quietly as possible, so that his strong, multitasking man-brain can figure out how to handle the problem, while the mother can go back to making cookies. Additionally, we recommend she not wear shoes whilst cooking."

Is it weird that when I'm popping out babies that I'll probably want my mom there with me instead of man? No scratch that... mom to comfort me, man for me to yell at and dig my nails into. Problem solved.

Oh & PS having ANYONE in the room with you to talk to while you squeeze something the size of a large melon out of your hole, which is much smaller, is extremely helpful. Take my word for it. Even if you speak gibberish & are screaming.

Dr. Odent = JERK.

@bria: Also, doesn't schizophrenia ususally rear its head in one's 20's? You know, right about when someone might have their first child?

michael odent is a complete quack. in addition to that gem of a quote up there, dr odent says that c-sections prevent mothers from loving their children and bonding with them as nature intended. i mean, really.

@Leiakat: Maybe a suggestion to the men that if they don't want to be included in birthing they don't have to be included in the sexing would change some minds.

@BeckyIva: My husband once forgot dress socks, dress shoes, a white undershirt AND brought a shirt that needed cufflinks but had no cufflinks when we went to a wedding last summer. He had to borrow everything from his dad. And then he lost one of his father's cufflinks, even though when he rolled up his sleeves at the reception, I suggested putting them in my purse. Grrr.

My dad was the first father allowed in the delivery room in the hospital where I was born some thirty-*cough*six*cough* years ago. Go Dad!

He's a great dad and always has been. I don't know if he was mentally ill after my birth but teh crazy has always been sort of my mom's job in our family.

@Leiakat:
Exactly. I HAVE to be there, so you can be damn sure he would be too. I refuse to shield any dude from possible insanity until he is able to shield my entire body from the damages a fetus will inflict. Not that they aren't adorable once they are out, but jeez!

I think PTSD from childbirth can make some WOMEN mentally ill. Would the good doctor suggest that they give up childbirth?