Wow. Just wow.

In addition to husbands "mostly" not beating their wives, 3 weeks only lasted 18 days in the 50s? What a magical time!

VAGINA + SOUP = HAPPY MARRIAGE

dude. i totally hate when my big strong man doesn't like the elaborate dinner i prepare. i am way more sensitive to that then GETTING BEAT. holy crap.

the Happy Heinz Chef is checkin' out your man, lady. He's got that look of "I will show you my full line of Cream Of... Soups tonight, and you'll like it".

Jesus CHRIST. And you think advertising today is obnoxious, tactless and grotesque...I love that this was an era when you could talk about slapping your SO around in the same sentence you discuss what's for dinner.

SRSLY?

Oh MOST husbands?
great....

Oh, Canada! Gotta respect them for being so direct about the wife beatings with the "most" husbands caveat...*sigh*

I could think of 57 ways to use that soup right about now. 57 very, very unpleasant ways.

What are those gaseous fumes coming from the husband? Maybe the real travesty here is bad breath.

It sounds like copy the guys on Mad Men wrote after one of those office parties where they poured eight kinds of booze into a trash can.

Is the woman serving soup naked? That can't be sanitary.

You're right, being a beaten spouse is way preferable being an unoriginal cook . . . I'm glad Heinz pointed that out.

"Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives..."
Time for that extra special ingredient in his soup.

You know what would be agonizing to my sensitive soul? Being a housewife in the fucking 50s.

I can just see the 1950s ad execs plotting this one out-- "OK guys, survey: how many of us beat our wives? Four? Five? Yeah, nowadays most of us have stopped doing that."

What kind of noxious gas is emitting from that man? That is agonizing my sensitive soul.

my boyfriend works for Heinz, he's going to get such a kick out of this.

Just... no words.

Wait. Here are a few. The thing that gets me is the jokey, "just between you and me," tone. "Haha, we may not punch you anymore, but your lackluster soups call for a beating!"

That woman is so much better looking than her husband.

Well, at least he isn't beating you for making boring food. Obviously you should just shut up and be thankful that he's only yawning (stabby stabby stabby).

What the flippedy fuck???

@Viva-La-Diva: OH MUH GAWD!

... ... ... ... ... *small cough* Ummm.... ... what? Seriously? You kidding me?

Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man's stupidity and misogynistic views?

Sad thing is, I don't know if most ads are light years ahead of this today, even with more women working in the industry.

OK. "Most husbands have stopped beating their wives..."

What.In.The.HELL?

I love Heinz, but just the fact they were ever this stupid makes me want to boycott.

Yeah, yawning at the dinner table is just fucking rude. I'd rather you just break a plate over my head.

Is it strange that this makes me appreciate my husband who cooks for me and does dishes/cleans the kitchen on the nights I cook for him?

PS: Ladies, if your husband is doing whatever that is at the dinner table, Heinz condensed tomato soup is not going to help. And he is probably still going to beat you. That's just a tip from me to you.

Her husband needs scope, not ketchup. Look at how large those stink lines are coming from his mouth.

@brendastarlet: That's just what I was thinking, I love that show.

I think I will be more agonizing over the best route to the hospital, as my husband will need treatment for the burns from my boring hot meal he is now wearing.

Without the text, it looks like hubby has bad breath. I wonder if cyanide in his soup will cure that...?

Suddenly I want to see Aresenic and Old Lace. Really. That's all I have to say.

Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but if yours hasn't just leave one of the 18 varieties of Heinz condensed soups on the table next to your lawyer's number and tell him, "Good luck finding the can opener, asshole!"

Also... "favourites"? This can't be a U.S. ad, can it?

@Philthyist says bitter is the new black: Boy those people in the 50's sure were cards, weren't they? Everyone knows men hadn't really stopped beating their wives!

@NefariousNewt: I mean really.

@LaComtesse: Nope. As a matter of fact, we, the good husbands of America, salute you. :)

The punctuation in that fucktard ad is wrong too.

"Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man's boredom at meals."

Should be a question mark at the end of that passage...which equates your husband's kicking your ass with his rejection of your cooking. My God, and that ad didn't destroy the company....a sign that people (consumers, advertisers, whomever) were even stupider and more vulgar than now.

This is satire. Right?

@Tits.McGee: Canadians. We should have known.

It's the idea of Mr. JB having a sensitive soul that really sets me giggling. I could serve beets, cole slaw, and corned beef for all eighteen of those nights, and all he'd say, between bites, is "But I thought you hated beets...?"

"Why is he yawning? Is he tired? Well he has been at work all day... but he works behind a desk. That's it -- he's having relations with that hussy of a secretary of his! Well, let's see how he likes her with a can of tomato soup jammed up his ass!!!!!"

@KittenFluff: Nope. Welcome to 1950's advertising.

Heinz confirmed my theory -- after 1950, ladies had it easy.

I love the woman's expression on the poster, 'Oh shit! He's bored, here comes another beating'.

Oh, never mind, I obviously can't read. I'm the one who supposedly has the sensitive soul.

Wait, that's still funny. You'll eat it and like it, or you'll make your own damn dinner. Done and done.

The genius of the "stopped beating their wives" passage is that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE AD. Is your husband bored with dinner? At least he's not beating you! Make soup!

@brendastarlet: @KW03: only related to the Mad Men reference: Rich Sommer's blog is highly entertaining and wonderfully normal : [richsommer.vox.com]

@ArmCandy: Actually, scratch that. It's actually that "even if he's not beating you, thinking that you've bored your husband is so much worse!"

I feel like here is an appropriate place to announce that the Knorr Spanish Rice packet is DA BOMB.

Also? 7 minutes. I'm a lazy ass bitch in the kitchen. In fact, I fucking detest the kitchen.

Ooh, so edgy and modern. I know.

More importantly, does your husband projectile vomit vipers at the table?

18 varieties everyday for three weeks? At least their social mores aren't the only thing that need a second look.

Sadly, in 2008, some men still have not stopped beating their wives.

@Skinny Bone Jones: Oh, honey, I would so stop beating you! Kisses! Now go get me a martini and hang up my coat.

Does that lady have like eight gajillion lobe piercings? Wasn't that, like, kind of risque for the time?

Also, isn't that husband a little short for her? He's like, dildo-sized. He would only require a soupçon of soup, at most.

I think she should shack up with Jolly Soup Chef instead.